You Smiled Because You Knew ||Phan||

Chapter Two: Breakdown

        I woke up to Phil's angelic voice filling my ears. "Daaan," He sang. "You have a live show in an hour. Better wake up. I made you some tea."

        My eyes slowly opened to see Phil's shining face staring down at me. His piercing blue eyes bore into mine. "Good morning sleepyhead," He giggled.

        I stared a moment in the late afternoon sunlight streaming through my blinds. I couldn't decide what to say. All he'd done is woken me up and it took my breath away. I sat up and gave him a long, meaningful kiss.

        "Morning," I mumbled, never taking my eyes off of him. #HeartEyesHowell, am I right?

        He smiled a geniune smile I hadn't seen in a while and my heart melted a little more inside. "Come get your tea," I followed him out of his room and into the kitchen.

        I sat at a barstool while I sipped my tea and opened up tumblr. Of course, I had loads of asks. I try to answer them all, but I really dislike answering Phan questions. It's not that I personally have a problem announcing to the world that I'm bisexual and I'm lucky enough to be in love with my best friend, but since I'm a Youtuber and radio personality, I really need my personal life to stay personal. But today, I got so many Phan asks.

        Omg!!1!!11! Phan is real!!1

        Pls makeout with phil on camera :-)

        I SAW UR LOVE BITE IN THAT ONE VID AND NOTICED PHIL HAD ONE AT THE RADIO SHOW TOO AAAHHH!!!!

        Pls just admit Phan is real! PLEEEEASE DAN

        And, the one that really got me:

        You and your fucking faggot friend are so gay. Unsubbed.

        I slammed the lid of my laptop down abruptly and shot up.

        Phil looked alarmed. "What's going on, Dan?" He asked, worry wrinkling his face.

        "I-I'm okay," I said with shaky hands. "I just- need a minute," I fled to my room before he could process. He decided not to follow, which was the best possible choice.

        I paced around my room in a huff. Oh God. These fans are going to kill me. I glanced at the clock. The flourescent red numbers read 3:51. Shit. You have 9 minutes to get your shit together, Daniel. I set up my laptop on my bed and pulled up the webcam.

        I broke my pace and ran into the bathroom, that one word nagging me over and over.

        Faggot. You are nothing but a fucking faggot. Do you enjoy disgracing your family?

        Phil lightly knocked on the door. "Dan? Are you gonna start the show soon?" He called cautiously outside the bathroom door.

        "Y-Yes!" I called back. "One minute!"

        "Are you alright?" He questioned.

        "I'm fine, Phil." I shot back quickly.

        "Alright," I heard him walk off hesitantly.

        My mind started going nuts again. I placed my hands on either side of the sink and stared myself straight in the face.

        My eyes were bloodshot and I had bags that were darker than my black shirt. My hair was messy, but I didn't even bother fixing it. My lips were cracked and dry and basically, I looked like hell.