'Unexpected Feelings'(Sal×Travis)

father

Warning ⚠️
This chapter contains: abuse, homophobia, self harm and suicidal thoughts. Viewer discretion is advised.

Travis

"Why did you not wait for me to come home, before you stuffed your face with.." he glares at my plate, "Pasta."

"Sorry honey," my mother starts, but she's cut off by my father.

"This isn't your fault, Aby. It's on Travis, for not being able to fucking wait! You fat disgrace!" He glares at me with, big, angry eyes. I could feel the spit in my face as he spoke.

"Father I'm sorry!" I yelp.

"Don't speak to me with that" he raises his voice, and his fist, "TONE!" His hard fist plummets into my cheek. A stinging pain is left.

I look over at my mom, her eyes look lifeless, I know she hates to see me like this, she just doesn't do anything about it.

I learned the hard way, that it's better to just stay silent, while my father let's his anger out on me, and it'll be over sooner. Still I can't help but let out a sob as he kicks my ribs, I'm already on the floor, painfully I clutch my side.

"Are you crying?" He screams, "Fucking fag, I knew you were a mistake." He lifts his foot, and stomps it into my stomach one more time before he tells me to get up, and get him a smoke.

I get up as fast as I can, not risking getting him more angry, and run over to the counter, giving him the pack of cigarettes.

I walk away, and try to go upstairs.

"Did I tell you you could leave?" Father growls, as my mom sets a plate in front of him. "Come back here and sit down,"

I sit back down at the dinner table, and watch my father switch between his cigarette and his food.

As he finishes smoking, he takes the glowing hot cigarette bud and presses it into my hand.

Ouch!

Out of reflex, I pull away my hand, and blow the ember off it.

"We're done here, leave." Gladly. I limp away from the table, and up the stairs.

I should probably take a shower, maybe it helps with the pain.

---

It's about 8.30 now, I'm already in bed. I'm so god damn tired, but I can't sleep even if my life depends on it. My head is filled with thoughts, mostly about what mom said.

Am I really a faggot? A sinner, god will never love me.. I deserve to be punished, I should be dead.

The words plague my head, I feel disgusting, like I need to let something out.

Mostly when I feel like shit I go to the forest, maybe scream into the sky. I've punched a tree sometimes too, it helped let out all the negative feelings. But I can't go there now, it's too late.

But maybe I could sneak out, my parents are pretty heavy sleepers, if I wait until 10, they'll both be knocked out, and I can cycle to the forest. I don't know if it's the best idea, if I get caught, I'm done for.

My eyes fill up with water, I know it's wrong how I feel, perhaps if I pray hard enough, these sick feelings will go away. I clasp my hands together and close my eyes.

Whispering words, hoping they reach God, and that my prayer will be anwsered.

"..Please forgive my sin." I only now notice how much I've been crying, my whole face is wet with salty tears.