╔═════════════════════════════╗ in whichher silence seems to speak louder than words ! ╚═════════════════════════════╝
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
╭────────────────────────╮ THE PRESENT: MARCH 18, 2021 ╰────────────────────────╯
it was odd to say the least — being alone.
many like to assume that loneliness is a feeling, a sentiment revolved around a depressive emotion surrounded by the suffocation of solitude.
however, the state of loneliness is far from a singular emotion — it's a state of being.
nonetheless, adelaide would solely embody this state of isolation; especially since being alone like she was resembled a permanent etching in her brain, a constant ingrained reminder that she was simply lonely. she had no one to turn to, with both her ex-lovers illustrating a pure fantasy of white lies that did more harm than any good—samuel's lies revolving around cheating, alex's lies involving heavy secret keeping—how could she ever trust herself or someone else again? hence, it was more than a state of seclusion, when the only heart beating in this lonely bed belonged to her, it wasn't something most could take. for there are days when her brain becomes a cold fire, perhaps this feeling is what others call panic, but when you are alone like adelaide, who are you going to call?
the poor girl didn't know where to run, where to drag herself after two men she heavily loved intentionally tore her mentally and physically apart. it was hard to even wrap her head around the concept of love, especially since adelaide contemplated if she was even worthy of the heartfully yearned emotion at this point. however, the girl's loneliness was only exemplified when she woke up by herself when sleeping beside someone else felt so familiar, arising in an empty bed when she expected another's weight to shift on the other side of the mattress, and hoping to lean onto a significant other under the covers — but she woke up alone. no samuel. no alex. nobody.
it wasn't even the fact that adelaide was physically alone, but her own spirit felt more than lonely as she recalled the events of yesterday morning.
"wait! adel, please-" alex begged, swiftly reaching out once more to grab adelaide's hand before she could resist. the second her hand was in his own, he covered his second palm on top of hers in such a desperate manner that even his touch was imploring her to not leave.
nonetheless, adelaide swiftly tore her hand away from alex's own as tears uncontrollably flooded down her face. "you walked away on me once, you- you weren't happy for me back then... h- happy for me three years ago... yet you simply could not learn your lesson and be happy for me now, huh?" the girl consistently sputtered and choked on her sobs, yet the simple sight was enough to have alex's heart shatter into a million pieces. "i cannot believe i found myself in this predicament once again. you- you selfish bastard! you only think of yourself, huh? fuck off."
