Silence Beyond Words

Willow Tree

"Why can't we go out to eat?" Daniel protests as they roam to their usual table in the crowded and brutally loud cafeteria. "My mom packed me a sandwich again."

"Maybe you should start packing your own lunch," Alex responds absentmindedly, his eyes scanning the room hoping to locate that specific blonde again. "I think you're old enough to make your lunch."

"I think she's doing it on purpose," he grimaces. "We had lasagna last night. I seriously thought I'd be eating that, not stale bread."

But Alex couldn't care less about Daniel's calamity with his mother's lack of sympathy while packing his food. It was hard for him to accept that not finding Norma in the cafeteria was bothering him. He feels like a wimp for not approaching her in class, and he's afraid of what she might think of him after not doing so. He had been all over her face in art class the day before, and he despised how deprived that approach made him look.

"That's great," Alex laments, mostly to himself, and somewhat slams the tray on the table, pulling the chair and taking his seat. His eyebrows furrow in mild irritation and he didn't know if he had directed that remark towards Daniel or himself.

"Can we?" Daniel invites, his brown bag folded neatly in front of him.

"Can we what?" Alex ultimately looks at him, his stoic demeanor vanishing instantly.

"Go out to eat, man!" he pants, his desperation to eat actual food making him plead.

Alex doesn't say a word but proceeds to look at him with a dull stare.

"Is something bothering you?" Alex notices how Daniel's expression shifts to a serious one. "You're worrying me."

"Daniel..."

"Are you high?" he questions earnestly.

"What? Why would I be high?"

"I don't know! I'm trying to figure you out," he explains cooly. "You seem out of it. It's obvious you're not paying attention to what I'm saying. You seem distant and preoccupied. What is going on?"

What is he even feeling? What is all of this and what does it mean? What if he tells Daniel that he is infatuated with the new girl that wears flats to school instead of heels, and has a face free of make-up? How can he tell him that although he is yet to hear her voice, the quietness and serenity that she emits is making him crave her presence? He wants to see her. His eyes are scanning for her, he wants to bump into her, find her among the crowd, and take one more look at those amazing blue eyes.

"Bro," Daniel snaps him out of it again. "Talk to me."

Alex takes a deep breath and conceals his face, trying to collect himself. He intertwines his fingers together, resting his chin on top of them.

"I-I don't know," he finally says. "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" he scrunches his nose and straightens his back, ready for whatever Alex is about to tell him.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," he confesses, his heart thumping hard against his chest. "I don't know what it is, what this means."

"Elaborate."

Alex groans, his hands coming to rest on the table. The spaghetti on his tray is still untouched. "I mean, there's nothing wrong with me."

"I'm about to punch you in the face," Daniel states blatantly. "You haven't done this shit to me since grade school."

"Done what?" Alex questions, his eyebrow furrowing in confusion.

"Where you blackout like this."

"I'm not blacking out!" he exalts quite cheaply.