Beneath Your Beautiful

SILENCE

"Run Jay Run".... is all I remember from that dream I most frequently have nowadays... heck i don't even know what normal dreams feel like anymore, it's all nightmares.

                                         ****

Honestly I dread going to school... if it wasn't for the for the guys I have no idea where I'd be right now, I think I would've-...."Jay what's up man?" Said Christian, my very good friend,as he snapped me back to reality ... I hadn't even realised that they had surrounded me by my locker.. wierd huh?..

"Ye wasup man" i answered chris... conner interrupts and tells me about some party Alexa Morgan is having.. she's my girlfriend but damn she's annoying as hell. If she wasn't great in bed, I would've dumped her ass ages ago!. My guys also get benefits from her cause she's a full on slut, and I couldn't care less.

*the school bell rings*

"Well see you guys later" says Conner as Christian and I make our way towards the first lesson of the day.. art class.."hey man, if you don't wanna go to the party tonight it's okay, I can stay home with you " said Chris
"Yeah man I really don't feel like partying tonight you know"
"Yeah you know you can always talk to me you know that right"
Just as I'm about to answer Mrs Anderson- who apparently has a younger sister that goes to this school, I know her she sits behind me in english class- "Christian Howard and Jayden Cameron anything you'd like to share with the class?"

"No ma'am" I answered. I liked Mrs Anderson,  she didn't completely hate me like the other teachers, and I liked her. After the lesson, Mrs Anderson called me to her desk. .." Jayden I'd like discuss something with you.take a seat"
"Yeah.." i replied it came off ruder than I intended it to

" well, I think we all know how talented you are with the brush Jayden-"
"No" i snapped "i won't paint anything for you okay" i felt myself get angrier " i don't paint for anyone especially some fuckin school teacher okay"

She stood there staring at me then at the door, the prettiest girl I have ever seen stood there. She had big black hair, her skin looked so soft, and she had a very beautiful body,  she wasn't super model type like Alexa but damn she was beautiful.

"Take a picture it will last longer" she said.. damn she's rude too, I like it.
"This is my sister Hayley" i looked at Mrs Anderson as she disturbed my thoughts.
"And you are ?" Hayley asked .. I tried not to sound like a weirdo
"I'm Jay.. Jayden Cameron"

She just looked at me with a blank expression. And i did the same
"Consider it Jayden..I've seen your paintings and I really think you could do something with them" damn the paintings I'd forgotten about that.. already
"Fine. Just don't expect me to paint what you like.. I paint whatever the fuck i want okay" i answered hastily
"Language mr jay" interrupted Hayley
"Was anyone talking to you baby?" Fuck.. why did I just say baby?!!
"Psht baby??" Hayley said in a annoyed tone, I have to admit though that temper made her really hot... Snap the fuck out of it Jayden you're popular and you don't just like everything you see.
"I'll talk to you later Mrs Anderson"
Then I walked out of there to my next lesson I was already late anyway...so I decided to take a turn and head for the field. I sat under the bleachers put in my air pods and listened to music.And thought about Hayley. .. the my mom... then Hayley again

                                         ******

I have no idea how long I sat there but I heard Chris and Conner arguing as they approached where I was."dude what the fuck we were worried sick about you man!" Chris shouted ... I basically let out a snort, when I saw someone walk our way
"Ugh what the fuck seriously? " Hayley said as she looked at me in annoyance honestly I have no idea what I did to her but damn she hates me.

"Hey baby" i said sounding so damn cocky
"Baby??" Chris and Conner both said at the same time sounding so surprised
Hayley walked away before I could even answer. Damn that ass...
"Dude you're staring" Chris says
"Yeah, so"
Conner adds" damn she's beautiful man. Did you check her body damn man"
I felt like was going to break something as my fists balled.

"Stay the fuck away or I'll murder you " damn i have no idea where that came from
As if Chris read mind, "dude you've never told us to stay away from Alexa but her, a girl you just met today, you don't even want us to touch her. Do you like her?"
"I don't like her okay, I just said stay away. That's completely unrelateded.
"Whatever you say man"

"Let's go" we walked over tothe lockers then.. I saw Alexa purposely bump into someone normally I wouldn't care. Then..
"Watch where you're going fat bitch"
"Oh fuck off Alexa" Hayley replied rolling her eyes as her friend stuck the middle finger at Alexa and her minions.

"Babyyyy," Fuck her for calling Hayley a fat bitch damn she's so evil!. I felt my jaw clench as she ran her hand down my chest to my belt buckle
"What do you want Alexa?" I said, making the annoyance obvious. Alexa being as clueless as she is just continued. I removed her hands and grabbed her wrists.

"Alexa what the fuck.. can't you be nice, what'd she do to you?" I said, my voice having more anger than I intended it to.
"Mmmmm Mmmmmmmm. Let's ease that tension tonight hey baby" damn this girl just won't give up.

"Sure whatever" i said as my eyes trailed off and met Hayleys. She was looking right at me, and my stupid ass decides to pull a stunt and kiss Alexa. I grabbed her ass and kissed her,when I saw Hayley walk away from the corner of my eye. Something gad risen in me. A sense of guilt. I walked away. I went to my next class. Earlier than everyone else. Sat in the corner as I waited for the math teacher to come in. I felt the desk beside me shift and i looked up to see her lovely smile. Only she wasn't smiling at me, cause she hated me, she was smiling at Brandon. I hated that muther fucker, damn I'm so jealous. He sauntered over to where we were.

"Fuck off Brandon. "
"This one yours too Cameron?" I felt a rush of embarrassment as Hayley glanced at me wide eyed then suddenly looked pissed, I just stared at Brandon and he left
"What the hell was that" she snapped
"C'mon that guys a dick.. I don't get why you'd go for him, of all the people on this earth Hayley"
"Just stay out of my life and I won't meddle in yours okay?"
"No can do princess"
"You're an asshole" she snapped. Angrier this time.

                                ******

The rest of the day kinda went that way because I'm an ass and i just can't let her talk to other guys without getting jealous.
"Wanna talk about it?" Conner asked... I was staring again, the way she walked, talked, smiled,laughed, it just intruiged me.
"Um-i don't know"

"Come one man what's with this girl that's making you act all weird today?"
"I honestly do not know....Let's go home you weirdos"
We went to my house, since I practically lived alone. My mom killed herself when  i was 12 and her sister bought off this house in her name for me, she had to do some work stuff, and I have this big house to myself.

"Beer anyone?" Chris asked pulling out a six pack from the fridge.
"Play some music Conner " i exclaimed happily  and not moments later, Juice world blasted from the speakers.
" so Anderson huh?"

"What about her?" I asked cause I really didn't want to talk about it.
"Dude she's hot. Maybe you can finally dump Alexa's skank ass and date someone worthwhile.  It's not all about hoes you know?"
He's right i should dump Alexa she's not even worth it.
"Ye man. Alexa really isn't worth it.  You deserve so much more man. You're a good guy. Once the ladies get to know you " Christian nudged my shoulder as we all laughed.

After two drinks Conner said he's going to Alexa's party. Then Chris had to go home. And here I was, alone like I've been for the past five years. I went down to my mom's old painting room. The one room i that has anything to do with her. I paint in here too. It keeps me sane.

I picked up my canvas and painted every stroke, harder than the last. I had no idea what it was. When I realised I was painting a picture. A picture of Hayley.