Iridescence | Edward x OC

41

What doesn't kill me might make me kill you.

- Unknown
-

03/01/2035 7:30 am

Today's the day. Today's the day I have to kill him, or I die. It's a nice change for once, not waking up at 2:07 am each day from a nightmare caused by Osiris, though I'd take those nightmares a million times over if it would mean that Edward didn't have to die.

It's funny though, it actually just occurred to me that Osiris arrived on February 7th, and 2:07 is the time I'd always wake up on the dot. If I hadn't been so naive, I'd have taken that as a warning to run away at least until that day passed.

I'm not gonna lie, I can't even fathom the thought of what I have to do later today. Osiris's plan is genius, in a sick way. It makes me feel dirty, going through with what I have to. I've tried so hard to find a loophole - anything that could get me out of this situation, but I can't think of anything at all. If I kill Osiris, or have Edward kill him, then the Volturi are going to come looking for him, and me.

The worst part is, I know that if the roles were reversed and Edward was sentenced to kill me, he'd die before doing it. It would destroy him to kill another teenage girl, especially one that he's become fairly close with. The guilt would consume him, and I honestly couldn't see him moving on from it. I mean hell, it took him three decades to move on from Bella Swan, and he didn't even know her at all.

But that's not the case. The roles aren't reversed, and I have stuff to live for. I've barely even gotten to live my life yet, not to mention the fact that it would completely tear my family to shreds if I died. I know that it'll greatly hurt the Cullen's, and it sickens me to betray them like this too, especially because they've become sort of a second family to me. Thankfully though, they won't know that it was me who killed Edward, and they won't suspect it either. I'm pretty sure they think we're in love, if anything.

That's the thing though. A part of me wishes that we were in love, so I'd be willing to give up my life for his, rather than being selfish. However, the larger part of me is glad that I set those rules in place and didn't allow us to get too close, because now I'm making the decision that's right for me. I mean, is it really considered selfish to not be willing to die for someone? I don't see what world that would be considered selfish in, but then again, if it's not considered selfish to prioritize your life over someone else's, then why am I feeling so guilty as if it is?

It hasn't even happened yet, and I already can't see myself moving past it. The Cullen's will of course leave town, leaving me with nothing to remember them by. Eventually they'll all fade away and feel like a distant memory, but maybe that's for the best. Hell, maybe we'll run into each other again far off in the future, though I know I don't deserve to be granted that wish.

What a sick and twisted world this is. I'm only seventeen, and I already have a murder planned out for the man that I was planning to spend the rest of my existence with, whether just as friends, or possibly more.

I'll update again soon, assuming that I can even bear to look at this book after what's about to go down.

Aris

Sitting up straight and placing the journal back in the drawer of her bedside table, Aris ran her fingers through her hair and reluctantly picked up the dreaded note containing Osiris's messy handwriting, instructing her on how she was to go about this.

Aris, you will send Edward a text telling him that you want to meet him to talk. I don't know the depth of your relationship, but I'm assuming that it's strong enough to where he'd meet you without suspicion of anything.