Iridescence | Edward x OC

44

We're all just a bunch of addicts struggling with our drug of choice.

                                                           - JmStorm
-

06/09/2035                                  10:05pm

Scratch what I said last time about things with Edward going well.

I thought our "arguing phase" was over, but apparently it's not. We just had an argument that was so ridiculous, it's almost laughable. It started out with us just talking like usual, and I expressed how I wanted to tell our families about "us", or at least Alice and Rosalie. Anyways, he made a snide comment about how I of course wouldn't care about putting what we have going on at risk, and he then proceeded to say that it's evident that he cares about me more than I do for him. That's absurd, right? There's no possible way he cares for me more. I'm the one having to constantly stop myself from accidentally blurting "I love you" because we haven't gotten to that stage yet. I know for certain that I'm in love with him, and I'm pretty sure he feels the same way, but I can't be certain until he confirms it aloud, and until then, there's no way in hell I'm going to say it.

I mean, I don't wanna scare him off if he feels as if that's moving too fast. Hell, we haven't even kissed since our first one a month ago. I'm not even sure why if I'm being honest. I have a feeling that he wants me to make the first move this time since he did before, and I guess the reason I haven't yet is just because I'm scared to, which is ridiculous of course. I know he wouldn't back out or anything, but that's not really what I'm afraid of. What I'm scared of is the kiss going too far. I don't know if I'd have the strength to back out if he wanted to take it further, and I'm not really sure what his feelings towards going further than just a kiss even are. He did make a comment right before I left his house that somewhat insinuated him wanting to do more than just kiss, but I honestly couldn't quite tell if he meant it, or if it was just in the heat of the moment. I guess the simple answer is just to talk to him about it, but after last night's argument, I'm not exactly sure if we're on speaking terms at the moment.

Thankfully tomorrow is the last day of school before summer, although I do wish that I didn't have any more days so I wouldn't have to face him yet. I don't know what's going to happen - is he going to ignore me? Should I ignore him? Should I apologize? We both said some very hurtful things, although I do feel as if what I said was much worse. He brought up my biggest regret - that being me almost killing him, and in return, I brought up his - him killing Bella Swan. I would like to apologize for what I said, but I do feel as if it was somewhat deserved. I guess it doesn't really matter right now - I'm going to have to face him either way, and whatever happens, happens.

I hope he's not too upset with me, but I also hope my insult registers with him a bit so he recognizes that what he said was hurtful.

Until next time,

Aris.

-

Edward locked himself in his room that night regretting each and every word that had come out of his mouth earlier. The image of Aris's guilty and hurt expression replayed in his mind over and over as he recalled back to him reminding her of what she had almost done. He had regretted his words the moment they had left his mouth, but he couldn't bring himself to apologize right then, especially with what Aris had said shortly after.

However, his regretfulness was quickly replaced with frustration as Aris's words ran through his head. At least I never fucking murdered an innocent girl. You did have a choice in that situation. She had been the one to help him get over that entire situation, and here she was making him relive it once again. To say it was frustrating would be an understatement. However, no matter how uncalled for it was, Edward knew that she wouldn't have said it if he hadn't upset her first, so there really wasn't anyone to blame but himself.

Edward spent all night debating if she should text Aris or not. He wanted to apologize in person, but he hated how they had left on bad terms. He hated not knowing for certain if she was home safe. The Volturi could've captured her on her ride home for all he knew. Because these fears were constantly eating away at him, they usually spent the night together, more for his sake than Aris's. She wasn't nearly as worried about the Volturi as he was, but she still allowed him to stay with her most night's since she knew it helped to ease his anxiety some.

Aris's phone lit up on her bedside table only a few minutes after she set her journal down. At the top of her notification center was a message from the one person that her subconscious had been praying would text her, though she was too prideful to admit it as she picked up her phone and swiped open the message.

Edwhore (pain in my ass)

Please just let me know
you got home safe. We'll
talk tomorrow.
read 10:11pm

                                                           I'm home and I'm
                                                           safe.
                                                           read 10:12pm

-

Aris couldn't help but smile as her heart warmed. He still checked up on her, regardless of what she said earlier. Maybe things would turn out okay tomorrow - maybe they'd both end up apologizing.

-

Morning rolled around, and Aris got ready in more of a rush than usual, which mostly had to do with the fact that she was eager to get back on good terms with Edward. Being on bad terms with him felt like a burden. It felt heavy on her chest, even though she knew that it was just a small thing that would easily be fixed once they got the chance to talk.

It was odd, though. Only a little less than a year ago, all they would ever do was argue. That's what felt normal to them, and that's what felt like the only option was when they were around each other. Now they never fought, and when they did, it felt like the biggest deal in the world.

Aris ranted to Giselle on the bus ride to school about what was going on, and like usual, Giselle listened closely, offering advice where it was needed. Aris had finally come clean and told all of her school friends about her and Edward, not really caring anymore if they made a big deal about it. She of course left out the details that she wasn't allowed to share, but they knew the overall take of where her and Edward stood in whatever was going on between them.

Aris's rant was just about finished as they pulled into the school parking lot, her already feeling much more relaxed from getting it off of her chest to someone aside from her journal.

First block passed by fairly quickly as she spent the whole time immersed in conversation with Ashton - partially to distract herself from having to see Edward next period, and partially because it'd felt like forever since they last caught up.

As she entered her second period class, her eyes immediately found Edward's, who was sitting at their usual desk towards the back. She said nothing as she took her seat beside him, breaking eye contact and looking towards the front. Was she supposed to start the conversation? What was she supposed to say? Should she wait for him to-

"Aris," he broke her train of thought as his soft voice filled the quiet space between them, "I want to apologize for last night." She looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue. "I'd also like to talk, and continue our conversation before it went down the deep end. Will you ride with me to the café around the corner after school?" He asked hesitantly.

She nodded, though looked at him quizzically. "Why can't we just do it at your house?" She inquired.

"I don't want any of my family members to overhear." He explained, to which she mentally slapped herself for being so dumb.

"Okay, coffee shop after school it is." She agreed.