𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐁𝐎𝐍 ~ 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐏𝐨𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐒𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲

Chapter 3: "Understanding Poetry"

~•~

"Everyone, open your texts to Page 21 of the introduction." The sounds of flipping pages filled the room. Gwendolyn found the page and fiddled with her ribbon while waiting for her peers to follow. "Mr Perry, will you read the opening paragraph of the preface entitled "Understanding Poetry"?

""Understanding Poetry" by Dr. J Evans Pritchard, Ph. D." Neil began to read, "To first understand we must first be fluent with its metre, rhyme and figures of speech."

I guess that would be true Gwendolyn thought, her hand on her cheek.

"Then ask two questions. One: How artfully has the objective of the poem been rendered? And two: How important is that objective?"

Well, that's over analyzing it. Poetry can be whatever it wants to be!

"Question one rates the poem's perfection. Question two rates it's importance."

You can't label a poem "perfect"! Poetry is subjective! And each poem is an important contribution. No poem should have more importance than another! Gwendolyn thought bitterly. This J. Evans Pritchard guy was getting on her nerves.

"Once these questions have been answered, determining the poem's greatness becomes a relatively simple matter." Gwendolyn mentally scoffed at that. Mr. Keating had now stood up and grabbed a piece of chalk.

"If the poems score for perfection is plotted on the horizontal of a graph," Mr. Keating drew a horizontal line with the letter "P" at the end as Neil read, "and it's importance is plotted in the vertical," Mr. Keating drew a vertical line with the letter "I" at the top, "then...calculating the total area of the poem yields the measure of it's greatness."

Gwendolyn watched as her father completed the graph, she couldn't believe he was actually taking this stuff seriously. It was poetry! Not trigonometry, or chemistry. Poetry was not something to be solved!

"A sonnet by Byron might score high on the vertical," Mr. Keating drew a little line on the vertical line, "but only average on the horizontal." Mr Keating drew another little line and made a rectangle. Inside was the letter "B", "A Shakespearean sonnet, on the other hand, would score high both horizontally and vertically," Mr. Keating made a bigger rectangle with the letter "S" inside it, "yielding a massive total area, thereby revealing the poem to be truly great."

Mr. Keating wrote on the board: S=Great

"As you proceed through poetry in this book, practice this rating method. As your ability to evaluate poems in this manner grows, so will-so will your enjoyment of understanding of poetry." Neil finished as Mr. Keating wrote: P x I=G

Mr. Keating faced the class with a small smile at his daughter, since she looked like she was going to physically implode, "Excrement." He said simply. Everyone looked confused, everyone except Gwendolyn, who was thankful her father wasn't stupid, "That's what I think of Mr. J Evans Pritchard. We're not laying pipe. We're talking about poetry. How can you describe poetry like American Bandstand? I like Byron, I give him a 42, but I can't dance to it."He said in a sarcastic voice.

Gwendolyn quietly raised her hand, "Yes Miss Keating."

"Well couldn't we get rid of it somehow? So that we don't accidentally...revert back to this...lunacy?" Gwendolyn grinned at the twinkle in her father's eyes.

"What an excellent idea! Let's see...I want you to rip out that page." Gwendolyn looked up in a moment of disbelief, but quickly glanced back down at her textbook smiling like a madman. She had never done this to a textbook before.