To Build A Home - reiner x reader angst(ish)- part two

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SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 139

The sun rose, just as it always did, and you came with it, yawning tiredly, stretching's your arms over your head, rubbing your eyes as you groggily looked out the window.

The massive bed was made for two, and oftentimes you found the left side to be uncomfortably cold.

The same morning routine followed, just as it did in previous days. Clothes were swapped for more durable ones. Breakfast was made in a haste, eaten alone most of the time.

Following that you'd tend to whatever that needed tending to, whether that be fixing the irrigation for the farm or cutting more firewood, there always seemed to be something to occupy your silence with.

Most of the time.

Today, however, had been one of those days where nothing needed fixing. No broken canal, no squashed plants that needed replanting, nothing.

And sitting in utter quiet took its' own toll.

You played with the rim of your mug, finger moving back and forth, gently tracing it. You looked down to the wood carvings on the table, the intricate design not doing anything to ease your racing mind.

Where are you, Eren? Your thoughts began to ring,

Where did you go?

With a heaving sigh, you pushed back on the chair, standing up and making a beeline for the front lawn, picking up the book from the counter as you left.

The outdoors were serene, the cabin a humble place you grew to despise and love.

The rocking chair to the side had another one rotting next to it, no matter how many times you let it sway next to you as you sat.

"Y/n!" A voice snapped and you hurriedly looked behind your shoulder, smiling gently as you watching your friends all jog up to the front stairs.

"We've been calling your name for the last minute, everything alright?" Connie's tone was laced with worry, it always was, and his eyes softened when he saw your hand placed on the other chair.

You cleared your throat, nodding your head too quickly, "I'm doing fine, just a bit tired from last night." You placed the blood not the small table on your right, walking down as you gave him a tight hug, giving Jean, Armin, and Mikasa one as well.

"I thought you guys weren't coming until Friday?" You asked, rubbing your hands up and down the front of your tunic.

"We were going to," Jean muttered, "But he wanted to see the place." He cocked his head to the side, pointing to someone behind him.

Your gaze followed the direction until it fell on Reiner, a small hitch caught in your throat.

"And we also wanted to say that we can't stay," Mikasa added. "Historia's having some trouble with the leftover Jeagerists and her council isn't doing anything to help. She asked for us instead." You nodded slowly, a sinking feeling making way throughout your body.

You hated being alone these days.

"She asked for you, too," Armin quickly jumped in, "And you can still come. With your influence-" You cut him off with a raised hand, stopping him midsentence.

"Armin, as much as I want to, I don't think I'm ready to go back." I don't think I'll ever be, you wanted to add, "And besides, I don't think I would have been that much help anyway." You put a small laugh at the end to ease your mention, but everybody knew it was fake.

You saw how their bodies deflated, the look of sadness etched on their faces. You knew it was directed towards you.

"Ok, Y/n," Armin murmured, hugging you again, "Whenever you feel ready just know we're waiting for you." He whispered in your ear, giving the back of your head a gentle squeeze before letting go.

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