SPOILERS FOR SEASON 3 AND 4 OF ATTACK ON TITAN
When he was asked what he thought of the people he was forced to work with for over five years, he could only come up with so many negative traits.
He could feel the scrutinizing looks from everybody around the table, the wonder, and disgust that seeped through their skins.
"It was horrible," He said through clenched teeth, thinking back on those days, trying to come up with something that would put them in a horrid light.
"What happened?" He heard Gabi shout excitedly and her father scold her. Reiner shook his head, showing his uncle that it was fine.
"They were," He sighed, "They were selfish. They cared only for themselves," He was one to speak, "They lacked sympathy and everything normal people have."
"Do you remember any of them? What they looked like? Did they look like us?" Gabi hurriedly asked and his eyes widened for a moment, not know how to answer.
Of course they look like us, He wanted to say.
Of course I remember them.
"They looked like us, yes, but that's the only thing that we share. They're monsters, Gabi, all of them." He saw his mother give him a worried glance, but he didn't care.
He was lying to them and they had no idea.
—
He remembers how soft your hands were.
You always held his own when you two were going on a scouting mission, or late at night when sleep couldn't come.
Sometimes when you could sense his worry you gave him a gentle squeeze, and although it didn't help with much, the reassurance was something he needed.
He tries to remember the exact shade of your eyes, the length of your hair, (he wonders if it had grown out in the time he was gone), but it seems as though the memories were slowly fading into the empty space of his mind.
He wished he could take you back with him, but he knew that was near impossible. The moment he revealed himself, as well as Bertholdt, the fear and hatred in your eyes glimmered and he knew that he was no longer somebody you loved.
Or perhaps you did, but he would never know.
So he tries to think about the better times; the nights you two spent carefully sneaking out of the rooms and outside, sitting on the small bench near the stables, heads leaning on one another and whispering tings you knew never would come true.
He remembers how his name would fall from your lips, how kind and caring it was in comparison to the rough and clipped tones of the higher-ups.
Or the times he was actually able to laugh; when he was with you and Bertholdt and Annie and his old friends.
He tries to remember the way things were.
The way he used to love like a human.
—
"So were they devils? Like what everyone says?" Gabi asked and Reiner shut his eyes, trying to stop himself from shaking.
"Yes, they were devils," He looked around the table and he couldn't help but think the only devils were the people he was surrounded by, but he couldn't say that,
"Every last one of them."
He couldn't stop the thought that hangs around in his head,
The voice that kept telling him that the true devil was him.
YOU ARE READING
Various Anime Oneshots
Romance(These are some oneshots I've written over on my tumblr @nezukomimi, don't think I'm stealing) As the title says, these are anime x readers, I mainly write attack on titan and jujutsu kaisen so any requests are open to those fandoms! (I mainly writ...
