My Dear Madeleine

October 24th

Today, my parents told me that I will be married to my father's good friend's son. Ugh! I did not bother protesting or making a fuss. They have been acting extra nice, so I knew that something bad was happening.

I do not wish to be married. Especially if not for love. A wedding to please my parents, how tragic. If I cannot marry for love, I do not think I want to live until my wedding. My tears are staining the pages as I write, but I need to explain my feelings. Not for this journal, but for myself.

Most girls at church are so excited for their weddings. They all seem extremely happy when we discuss being married or having children. Since I was very young, everybody has told me that it is my duty to be wed and carry many, many children. They say it is my duty to populate the colony. As if it is solely my responsibility to populate the entire colony! I do not understand why I have no choice in the matter. I did not ask my parents to leave France and come here! I think I would love to be in France. I am sure they do not force their girls to be married while they are not willing. And what about my life? My interests, my friends, my family? Am I just expected to leave that all behind and live with a random man and bear his children?

Madeleine shares my opinion on this matter. Of course, I would never dare to speak these thoughts to anyone other than her. But I am sure she will eventually say this to her parents when they try to have her married.

I guess that is just the reality of life here. I wish it was not though. Perhaps, in the future, girls will have more choices about their future. Then I would be happy. And I would like to think that other girls would be happier then too, even if they claim to want to be wed right now.