when you were my father

the subway

"Hey, Mai." My eyes were still closed, but I could hear the voice of someone familiar. At first I thought it was Brian's, but the voice wasn't as deep as the one of adult Brian. He sat in front of me, as I half laid down against a hard seat, that I'm guessing was made of plastic.

"Hi?" I asked, not knowing what else to say. Slowly opening my eyes, I saw that the voice belonged to DJ. Since when was he with us?

"Good morning," His voice had a hint of sarcasm, but was still polite. "Are you okay?"

"I think so... Actually, I feel really good. What happened?"

"I was walking around town, and all of the sudden I saw you collapse by your siblings and some man that looks like the guy who was sleeping on your couch and at the beach. So really, I don't know much more about what happened than you."

Sitting up suddenly, I looked around and found that we were sitting in an empty subway car. It was cold and silent, as DJ just stared at me.

"Where... where are we?" I asked him, a sudden worry filling my brain.

"Really, I don't know. After you fell your sister ran into the woods, your brother and I picked you up and found her in here." He glances around with me.

"And where are my siblings?"

"Outside, along with that girl you were with."

"Oh, she's my sister. At least that's what she says."

"Right, well I'm sorry, but I'm really confused. Yesterday at the beach happened, and then this... What's going on?" His voice was calm, but I could tell that his brain wasn't.

"I..."

As I was trying to figure out what to tell him, Brian stuck his head through the opening on the car where a door should be. "Oh good, you're awake." His head disappeared and soon reappeared with Micah and Jayden's. They stepped into the car and sat down around me. Micah had been carrying a sleeping Isla and seemed to be glad to be able to put her down.

"Listen, I'm sorry. For how I was being earlier, it wasn't very nice." Micah told me, looking down at the ground.

"It's okay, I understand." Our eyes met, and I nodded.

"Good, so..." We were left with nothing to talk about, so the five of us that were awake sat around in silence.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something that seemed to be like shoes with invisible feet in them. Business shoes, probably Loafers, that tapped against the silver, metal floor. I turned my head to the side, wondering who or what they could belong to.

My eyes slowly moved up from where they'd been staring at the floor, up the wall and towards the ceiling. Everything was fading, changing, and feet were forming where the shoes had once stood alone.

"It's happening again." I whispered, scared. Micah and Valentina looked at me, understanding, probably having realized this themselves as well.

"What do you mean?" DJ asked, his face clueless. "Hey, where'd that man go?" He glanced around, and I realized that Brian had disappeared. Looking at DJ's slightly frowning face, I realized how innocent he was, and how his life could easily be normal. If I got him away. Right now.

"DJ," I said, looking him dead in the eye. "You have to leave."

"What do you mean? What's going on?" His eyes raced around us, seeing how the room was changing.

"Please, I know this is weird, but you have to go."

"Does this have to do with what happened at the beach, and why you've got blood all over you? Listen, I can help."

"No, you can't." His eyes showed he was hurt and I felt bad. "It's not about you, it's about complicated things that I don't even understand. Just please, for the sake..." It was too late, in the blink of an eye we were in a moving, working subway car, filled with busy people.

*********

Unlike all of the other 'moments' we'd seen, this one was familiar. Like I'd been there, but at the same time like I'd only heard about it.

"Hello sweetie, would you like a lolly pop?" A voice to the side of me called out, and I turned to face a kind-faced lady. She was large, and not in a normal way. It was like I was shorter all of the sudden, or everyone had grown around me.

"Yes!" I found myself talking without even thinking, it was like the words just came out.

"No honey, no candy for her, thank you." A deep voice came from above me, turning to look up at it I saw it was my dad. My dad, the way I remember him. Not like the Brian who was my age, or the Brian who was an adult and claiming to be James.

"But, Daddy..."

"We're going home to have dinner with mommy and your brother, you can have candy later." He told me, his warm, familiar voice making me smile.

"Okay," My responses weren't coming from me, but I was okay with it. They felt right, like I was meant to say them. I looked around, searching for Micah, Isla, DJ or Valentina, but none of them were in sight. I opened my mouth to call for them, but no sound came out.

"You!" Quickly snapping my head around, I saw a man yell and point at my dad, angry.

"What?"

"You are a beast of a human, a terrible, terrible man. That your child?" He asked my dad, pointing to me.

"And if she is?"

"Young girl, leave your father, change your name and never think about him ever again. How do you think that would feel, if she did that?" I just looked back and forth between the two men, confused and slightly scared.

"Get away from me." My dad yelled back, anger filling his head and his fists clenched.

"What did you just say?"

"Get away from me, you horrible son of a bitch." With that word, I was picked up and my dad ran into the next car, as far away as he could get, with me in his arms.