I decided not to wait. The months between when I found out both Max and von Graf claim me as a beloved and now has given me space to think, but it has provided me with no clarity. One of them is lying and I don't know which one.
But I know which one I trust.
And no matter how mysterious and ridiculously good-looking von Graf is, he hasn't been straight with me. Max has been nothing but straightforward with me. He hasn't gone behind my back to cut my funding, he didn't hide the fact that he thought we were beloveds.
I look into Max's eyes now. They crinkle in the corners from happiness; his beloved is here now and he can finally start his life with her.
Max offers his hand and I take it. I step up onto the front porch of the Weiß coven. The old wood creaks under my feet but I feel steady as ever.
Max leans forward and presses a kiss onto my forehead before wrapping his arm around me "Let's get inside."
In only a few moments we are out of the darkening cold and in the warm light of the coven's wood-covered sitting room. Max has selected four people to witness, I'm not sure why exactly. But it's of little comfort to me that I am surrounded by his allies and not my own at this time. The only one I know is Lisa and in the end, she is loyal to Max. But who would I invite? I don't know many people in this strange country. Tobias is the only one who comes to mind but I think it's unprofessional if he is involved in my love life. Also, if the past is any sign he would tell me that everything would work out, even if it clearly wouldn't
Actually, I could use that right now.
After being introduced to the vampires whose names I will never remember because I am too nervous to focus on the conversation. Max has me sit on the couch.
These will be my last few moments as a human.
I dig my fingers into the fabric of the couch, my hands sweating.
Max sits down next to me, his long legs brushing gently with mine, "so to go over a few things as we already discussed, I will bite you and if you aren't my beloved I will stop there. These witnesses here will ensure it"
I look to the four vampires in the room with us, three men and Lisa. We all know that there will be no stopping once the process begins. Albert made it clear to me so many times over the past week; having control of von Graf's beloved is too great of a prize to ignore. Tonight, I will become a vampire.
Max continues, "But if you are my beloved they will leave the room and I will complete the turning process. I believe you read the pamphlet I sent you on how the turning process works"
I actually hadn't read the pamphlet. I didn't want to know what kind of horrible process this would be, I knew I would lose my nerve.
Nonetheless, I nod at Max, "of course"
"Good" Max pats my lap, he can't contain his smile of excitement "anything you need before we begin?"
My heart thumps in my chest. "No" I squeak out.
The pause in conversation as Max just looks at me makes me rethink the whole thing. I want to back out- I want to run. I don't need to know who my true love is, I can live without him.
But what kind of life would that be?
"Lisa, can you grab some water in case we need it?" Max turns to look behind the couch where she is standing.
Lisa leaves the room quietly.
Max leans a little closer to me so that I can feel his breath, "it's going to be okay, Alexis"
I take a deep breath, and look at the man in front of me "I know, I trust you."
I try to settle my beating heart as Max leans back and we wait. Too soon Lisa has returned and she sets two glasses of water quietly on the coffee table.
I wish there was music or something to dissipate the depressing atmosphere.
"It would be easiest if you were to sit between my legs," Max says calmly with only the tips of his lips curling in a smile. I appreciate the fact that he is trying to curb his eagerness in the face of my fear.
"Okay" I move towards him. His heat hits my back as I sit uncomfortably straight between his splayed legs on the couch. I'm encased by him.
I can't help the tremor that racks through me as he leans closer, wrapping one arm around me to pull me back against him. With his other hand, he moves my hair to the side. We sit there, closer than we've ever been, my heart pounding, my hands sweating, my fingers digging into his thighs. Shit, I need to stop doing that I'm probably hurting him.
I clasp my hands together in my lap and close my eyes to block out the stares of the witnesses.
It's hard not to imagine the pain of his large fangs stabbing through my delicate skin. Another tremor wracks my body and I take a deep breath to try to calm down. Then I take another. And another.
A finger delicately runs down the side of my neck and I almost jump out of my skin.
"Please just do it already" I beg. I can't take this much longer.
Piercing pain in the side of my neck and my eyes shoot open. I can't control the panicky breaths. Then it's the odd feeling of something sitting in your skin, like a particularly large needle, it's not pain per se, it just... there. And the slight tugging sensation as Max starts drinking.
*****
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YOU ARE READING
Warring Logics *COMPLETE* (Book 1 of The Institute of Fantasiological Studies)
Fantasy''Let me taste you'' He leans forward and whispers in my ear. His voice is low like a gravelly hum. Oh God, what have I gotten myself into? He leans back and looks deep into my eyes. "Uh, um..." my brain is overwhelmed with the scent of his cologne...