𝑇𝑤𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑊𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑

12. What if

The day I found out my parents died was the day I felt as if the world casted me aside. All alone, with no one to love me and protect me. With nothing to look forward to, nobody to look up to.

It went blank. Seeing the police cars, hearing sirens. Officers coming up to me, trying to talk to me. Comfort me, explain what had happened.

I didn't hear a thing, I didn't remember a thing. Not until my aunt told me. I had asked, I felt the need to know.

I stood still, watching the home I grew up in. The more time went on the more it became just a house. Not my home anymore.

It wasn't the structure itself that made it my home, it was the people living in it, the memories I made with them.

I'd been taken away to live with my aunt as soon as I could. I'd always been outgoing as a little kid, made new friends all the time, smiled at strangers. But that had stopped as I grew up, and it became worse after their deaths. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't talk.

I'd felt ad if the world I'd known was ripped away from me.

My aunt did everything she could to support me, and I've never been more grateful for someone. I love her with all my heart and I don't think I would've made it without her. She had arranged to sell the house so I could pay to live in New York until I got a job. She made sure I was okay with it, and I was. I went back, to visit, once or twice.

I saw pictures hung up, wilted flowers, kitchen sink full of dishes. I walk up the stairs into my room, it felt odd being away for a while.

I opened the door to their room, a creaking noise suggesting it's been too long since that door was opened. I stare at the room, pictures from their wedding on their night stand, baby pictures of me. I hold the frame as tears tickle down my cheeks, I miss them so much, it hurts. It didn't feel like home anymore, they're gone and they're not coming back.

I broke down, piece by piece my heart was ripped to shreds.

No more happy family dinners, no more movie nights, no inside jokes, no sports with dad, no boy talks with mom. Nothing. All gone.

Wong place wrong time.

They were out in the woods, being a happy married couple. It was one Saturday that I was excited for. I had made new friends and I begged and begged to go to the mall. If it wasn't for me we wouldn't have cancelled movie night. A tree had fallen over them, they were found too late. If I didn't leave that day maybe they would've been here today.

Years of therapy and my aunt taught me that it wasn't my fault, that everything happens for a reason. Still, I can't help but think of the what ifs.

What if I didn't meet new friends?

What if I didn't cancel movie night?

What if I came earlier?

What if I made plans for another day?

What if they just went to a nice restaurant instead?

What if they just stayed home that night?

What if I didn't exist? They would still be here.

The what ifs, they're what kills the soul. What could've been, what should've been, what you wished had been. It eats away at you when you let it.

Author's note:

Hey everyone!! Long time no see I know I know I'm sorry!!

This chapter is a sad one ik 😭 Amara doesn't deserve this. I figured we needed more info on her past so here we go, as always comment your thoughts and vote.

Talk to me, how has your week been??

Lots of love 💕

-J.A.