Chapter 18

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Cap's POV:

I take Bucky's arm and wrap it around my shoulders to carry him inside. I put him on the couch

Buck... what did you do?

I don't know what the hospital could do for a super soldier and it's not a good idea to take Barnes there anyway. Can't have him captured or killed

I grab a hot towel from the bathroom and place it on my friend's forehead. Then I receive a chair and sit in front of Bucky to keep an eye on him

Not long after, I see movement

"Where am I?"

"My apartment Buck. I found you outside. What were you doing there?"

James POV:

I can't tell Steve about my suicide attempt. I'll sound selfish

"I want to rebuild something more"

That's part of the truth

The blonde smiles

"Me too" He replies

Rogers is about to take my hands in his when I push them away. Cap looks at me concerned

"You won't want to be with me after what I did"

"Don't listen to those Hydra lies"

I stand up

"No, it's not that Steve" I prepare myself. This is it... "I went to Wakanda, where Zemo is being held, for his help. I personally asked him to trigger me" I struggle to keep my voice strong

"Why?" Steve questions, trying to believe I would do that

"Because..."

I breathe in and sigh

"Because I know you regret staying" I finally admit "You wanted that dance with Peggy so badly. She's the love of your life while I was only your best friend. I was so jealous Steve; floating in the background as I watch you be happy. Being stuck in the friendzone"

The pressure lifts off me. I don't try to hide the tears running down my face. I'm selfish...

Rogers POV:

I can't believe my ears

"Bucky-" I say

"No, I'm sorry. I'll leave"

Bucky is at the front door when I grab his wrist and press his lips against mine

He gets hold of my hands and takes them off his face, breaking the kiss

The ex assassin leaves

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