Black Hole

"Love Hurts, Love Scars"

Sirius rushed over to Remus as the werewolf vomited on the floor in front of him. Two fourth years who were dancing near them over-dramatically gagged and walked away holding their noses.

"Shit, Moony! You alright?" He bent down beside his friend, placing a hand on his back.

"Yes, Padfoot," Remus scowled, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, "I'm just fantastic. Fucking fantastic." He shrugged off Sirius' hand and stood abruptly. Sirius frowned as he watched Remus stumble to the corner of the room, grab Lily's hand, and drag her up to the boy's dorm room.

Sirius looked down at the mess by his feet. He grimaced. "Scourgify."

***

"Remus! Slow down, will you? I can't understand a single word you are saying."

Remus was pacing back and forth in front of Lily, who sat on his bed looking up at him, confused and definingly inebriated.

"I said, LJ thinks she knows what's best, but she doesn't! And I'm angry. I'm so angry at 'er!" His usual only slight accent only became thicker and slurred the more he drank.

"I thought you loved her?"

"Obviously I love her, Lily. Keep up! You can be angry at someone and still love them!" He covered his face with his hands and groaned. "You're always angry at your sister, but you still love her, yeah?" She sheepishly nodded. "It just doesn't make any sense, does it? It doesn't make any sense that she thinks that she'll ruin my life by being with me, but in reality, if anyone is ruinin' anyone's life, I'm ruinin' hers!"

"So, you want to ruin her life?"

"No, I do not want to ruin her life, Lily! I will ruin her life. But I guess I'm selfish, aren't I? Oh God, Lily, am I selfish?"

"Remus John Lupin, you are the least selfish person I have ever meant, and-"

"But I'm a monster! And I'm angry at her...for not wantin' to be with a monster? How daft am I, how selfish-"

"Remus, stop!" She stood then, grabbing his arms to stop his pacing, "You are the kindest and most gentlest boy I know, Reems. You smile when you see a pretty flower and you cry at Disney cartoons. How could you be a monster? And if I hear you say that ever again, I'll beat you the fuck up, do you understand me?"

He looked down at the ground. Her grip on his arms tightened.

"I said, do you understand?"

"Ouch! Yes, Lily, Jesus! I understand!"

"Good," She grabbed his hands and pulled him down to sit beside her on the bed. "Now, would you like to know what I think?"

"Yes, Lily, I would very much like to know what you think. That's why I've dragged you up here in a state of panic, searching for your guidance and pity, innit?"

"I'm going to ignore your sass, because you're plastered, and because I'm your friend. Here's what I think, and I think a lot, because I'm, as you know, an avid thinker: I think that Lyra-Jade is extremely and so very clearly mentally ill, but, you know, wizards don't do the whole "mental illness" thing, do they? I think she's very mentally unwell, and very traumatized. That shit changes your brain Remus, you know that. It changes the way you think. I also think she's starving herself, but that's just based on my limited observations of her. So, she's a traumatized, sheltered, underfed sixteen-year-old witch with untreated mental illness, who was cursed and disowned by her family mere months ago, who thinks that the only purpose in her life is to take care of her most likely also mentally ill, equally traumatized, equally disowned, older brother." She looked into Remus' sad hazel eyes and sighed, "And, I think, no, I know that she loves you, and that you love her, and you desperately want to be open about that, but how could you when she has all that shit on her plate? How could she indulge in something as simple yet also as difficult as loving the person that she loves? I think you need to play things by her book; give her time. Give her time, and give her support, and maybe in a few weeks, or months, or, which would suck for you, years, all the time and support you give to her will help her clear some things up in her head, and you can both get what you so desperately want. She's always taken care you, hasn't she? She's always taken care of everyone around her but herself. Maybe be the one to take care of her for a while. That's what I think. But, truly, I'm talking out of my ass right now and I'm pretty fucking drunk, so take what you want from all that, but, in conclusion, be there for her in any way she needs right now, even if what she needs isn't what you want."