𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘿𝙀𝙑𝙄𝙇'𝙎 𝘼𝘿𝙑𝙊𝘾𝘼𝙏𝙀 • 𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙝 𝙫𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

TWENTY-NINE

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CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Dreams and Thoughts
  

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I SEE A WOMAN.

She has her back to me. Her hair looks like mine, though it's shorter. Her body is covered in a strange armor that I have never before seen.

I cannot hear her speak, but I know her thoughts.

Kill Vader.

"Do you think it means anything?" I asked, absentmindedly bouncing my leg. "I've had that dream three nights in a row."

Frotis sat opposite me at the small table in his homey office, which felt more like a living room. He had decorated it with badges of honor from his work in the Imperial Army, along with photographs of different animals with which he seemed to have a fascination. The stuffed head of a bantha was hung high and proud on the wall, and I didn't doubt that he himself had killed it. Impressively, he also had two stuffed nexu heads hung up, each of their faces frozen in a fierce scream.

"Are you afraid of it?" He asked, sitting back in his chair. "The dream?"

I mulled over his question, before meeting his eyes. "I'm afraid that it might be showing me the thoughts that dwell in my subconscious."

Frotis slowly nodded, crossing one of his legs over the other. "And the person that you wish to kill in your dream; do you have a strong hatred for them in your waking life?"

I had elected to leave out the fact that it was Vader I was dreaming about - it didn't seem wise to be open about our close relationship. Shaking my head, I glanced down at the pink tea he had made us before looking back up at him. "No, not at all," I told him. "It... in fact, it's quite the opposite."

"Most curious," He commented with narrow eyes. "It is possible that this may simply be a dream. Disturbing, yes, but not worrying."

Gathering that he had more to say, I raised a brow. "Or...?"

"Or," He began with a regretful look. "It is also possible that your dreams hold some weight. If we look at them in the context of your disorder-"

"My slight anger issues," I corrected him through gritted teeth.

"Right," Frotis muttered. "It could be that your feelings are intensified when the side of you which is driven by aggression comes out. Perhaps, without realizing, you do harbor some hatred for this person, no matter how small or undetectable it is, and that gets amplified in your subconscious - thus, it manifests in your dreams."

Was it possible that I hated Vader? I had no reason to. Did I?

"Maybe a part of me feels guilty about the way I feel for... this person," I wondered aloud. "I know that I shouldn't have these feelings for this person, and so in my head, that turns into me taking my anger that I have for myself out on him."

I shocked even myself with my analysis, hoping it wasn't true. If I lost control again, would my savage and harmful behaviour be directed to Vader? I wasn't afraid that I would hurt him - I was afraid of what he'd have to do to subdue me.

"Tell me something, General," Frotis requested. "In any of the three instances you have had this dream, have you ever succeeded in killing him?"