i h8 u (seriously)

10

It's been a few weeks since George and I had seen each other in person last. We've gotten closer, but not by much. At least I wouldn't say by much. I'm sure our friends would say otherwise. I still wouldn't consider George a friend. I don't think I could ever openly say I'm George's friend. That sounds weird coming from me. And vice versa.

We've been sitting in voice calls together with our friends without tearing into each other. If we do bully each other, it seems consensual and lighthearted. George and I have even started talking to each other one-on-one but that's been a very recent development.

I found out pretty recently that he loves art, which surprised me. I didn't think he'd find too much of an interest in that because he can't see certain colors. I'm sure art looks a bit odd and dull to him, but the fact that it doesn't stop him from appreciating it makes me feel very happy, especially because I dabble in art as well. He commented that he really liked my art and my art style, especially because I draw in black and white and obviously he can see the art from the standpoint of the artist then.

I still haven't opened up about anxiety, so he only knows what other's have told him or what has accidentally been exposed. We've only been talking about really basic stuff like favorite colors or whatever. It feels very mediocre but the fact that I don't feel too much anxiety around George anymore puts me at ease since we cross paths a lot. That was always one of the biggest stressors for me and I noticed that it brought me down so much.

"I'm not unblocking you," I deadpanned to George. We were in a call right now with Bad and Sapnap. I was streaming on my hardcore world that I started a few weeks back; they were just in vc to keep me company as I was building.

"Why?" It was silent for a few seconds, "You even have me blocked on my private!"

Everyone burst out laughing and I only shrugged, "Listen, I don't want to see you at all on my timeline."

"Can you at least unmute George?"

"No, the terms George, GNF, and Georgenotfound stay muted. I don't need that kind of negativity in my life."

"You're so annoying!"

"Oh my god," Sapnap laughed.

"Isla!" Bad scolded.

"What? I'm just being honest."

"That hurt," George said.

"You gonna go cry about it?"

"Maybe," George responded.

I rolled my eyes and continued building as the boys engaged in a separate conversation in the background. I'd chime in every now and then, but was mostly focused on building and not dying. Once my stream time hit three hours, I decided to stop for the night and end stream. I thanked everyone for coming and spewed my end of the stream speech before ending the live.

"I'm gonna go get ready for bed and put on a face mask and stuff," I told the boys.

"Can you put on face cam?" Sapnap asked.

"Why? So you can make fun of me like you do every time I have a face mask on?"

"It looks funny!"

"When we meet, we're doing face masks Sap."

"Nuh uh!" Sapnap laughed.

"Yeah huh, I'll get one on you."

He laughed in response.

"Anyways, I'll be like ten minutes or so."

I changed into some pajamas first, then brushed my teeth, and washed my face. Then, I mixed together my clay mask and spread it across my whole face. I only did this face mask once a week, but I loved putting on face masks. They sooth me and make me actually feel like I'm taking care of myself, because sometimes I forget to do basic human things like showering. Face masks though, I seem to never miss out on.

I went back to my setup once I was done getting ready for bed. Before I put my headset back on, I looked at the vc to see if anyone had joined since I left. However, from not paying attention to where I was walking, I tripped over the wheels of my chair and proceeded to slam my forehead on the edge of the desk as I fell to the ground.

"Ow, shit," I muttered, pressing my palm to my forehead with a lot of pressure as if that would completely take away the pain. Obviously I had my face mask on, so now my forehead portion of the mask was messed up and I had clay all over my right hand. I finally put on my headset and leaned over the desk.

"You okay?" George asked, and I looked at the vc to see George, Dream, and Bad in the vc now, Sapnap must've left.

"Oh were you worried about me?" I asked sarcastically, looking at my reflection in one of my turned off monitors to see how bad the damage was of my face mask. I had gotten clay on the edge of my desk too.

"Yes," George responded in the most serious tone I've ever heard that man muster. Silence fell in the channel and I felt my face heat up from embarrassment, anxiety, or something of the sorts.

I laughed, "Okay George," I replied in a joking tone, "Anyway, I totally just tripped and hit my head on the desk, so I'm gonna go fix my face mask and stuff. Be right back."

I took the headset off and jogged to my bathroom. I couldn't gauge whether George was joking with me or not, or whether he was seriously concerned about me. It freaked me out and made me a bit anxious, not going to lie. He better not start randomly caring about me; I don't like change and that would be a drastic change in our...whatever we are. Acquaintence-ship?

When I looked in the mirror, there was a giant red mark across my entire forehead. I was afraid it was going to bruise, so I just took a wet wipe and took the forehead portion of my mask off so I could look after it better. Then, I went back to my setup and quickly put my headphones back on.

"Okay I'm back."

I didn't stay in the vc for too much longer after that, only twenty minutes; I left when my mask had dried. For the rest of the night, I went offline and completely M.I.A.. It took a good hour for me to fall asleep when I finally put my phone down.