She

Meat

//I'm here to be destroyed. Just promise to
love me every second of the tragedy,as you
soak my passion and consume my being
leaving my mind aflame with more hunger
and desperation which after the epitome
point consumes me, but promise me you're
gonna love me for my disease and lust for
passion. And promise me when I die, you
won't cry. I got what I wanted I died happy
and content.I already lived my eternity and
promise me you'll not blame yourself if I
start killing myself. It was always me,
always my hunger. Tugging at the thin line
between between beauty and insanity
further and further killing my mind every
hour that struck twelve.I'm sorry I have
been deprived of self love that I can't give
you the love you truly deserve. I can't ever
love you enough. But I think you
understand how deep my love is, I know I
am hard to love but I can't help it. It doesn't
matter even as long as your voice keeps
singing a lullaby to my soul that makes me
want to feel okay. You could heal me or you
could watch me fade, who knows but
promise me you'll never cry and you'll
please always love me.//

She's back home, she's in pain. Not because she lost her midnight sky but yes her feet ache and everything hurts.
But she didn't find love, it's hard.
They'll all telling her she's unstable and she believes them because she doesn't understand right and wrong, she doesn't understand truth and lies, she just knows that things are. Poor girl, doesn't see the beauty. She was strong at first, but people hit her capability, threw her confidence down the drain and eventually when the person who she relied on, closest to her questioned her reality. She gave it a thought, and she was indeed young and incapable. Paralyzed, and hurt her heart bled tears. She thinks that everything she ever knew was a lie, and indeed it was. You know why, but it's a bitter medicine to take, accepting that you were always blind and you might even now be blind. When will you open your eyes, and will you ever?  Harder to accept that you were wrong, that probably there's something very wrong with you. That you're not enough. Your love brought you to your knees. Is it love even?
Time passes by and she doesn't know what and who to rely on. Her life is full of toxicity because she's got these low vibrational beings around her, who daily make her decisions for her. Everything is toxic, there's no purity except her heart, even her vision.
Social media is her only friend, these strangers online are her only friends. She's not seen enough sunlight in her sad sad life, rather vision. You know why. There are good people, there are more bad people there. Much much more. And she's naive, she doesn't understand what is the truth, she believes everything they say. Begs for attention. Love, care. She's lonely. In a lot of pain. Excerpt from her childhood, very young age//

I have now ventured my way to the depths of this blue sea and it's so unknown yet unsettling, it's pictured around my ankles and albino wrists like vice grips, that only hurt to be set freed.
My silent screams are only the same as a whoosh and a whisper as I reduce into nothingness right in front of your eyes.

You know what the saddest part is? Here I stand before you breaking, twisted, torn into the most devastating faces that anyone could ever see.

But you look at me and you see, someone with a distant look on their faces, a sad smile and an extremely slow reflex. That's all.
I mean it's been carving itself onto my limbs day and night and I don't even get enough respect and decency that I'm acknowledged. That I exist, and so does the soul revolting pain, I breed on.//

So these indecent, young old lads ask her to be sexually involved with them. Through the social media of course. There's so much trash and so much darkness on this platform, she can't even begin to explain how many torturous stories she's had with trusting these indecent men. They promise to take her away from this life in exchange for sexual favours. She never agrees but somewhere deep inside hopes to find a way to please these men so that her life would change. Dumb move. They promise her the sun and stars, they promise to send her gifts, shower her with love and place to stay. She also meets other lonely people, who want to be saved by her and hope for a connection, that just isnt there. They're her friends because they're equally lonely too. And she understands.
She says take me away, and I'll give you my everything. Everything that I have to give, everything that you want. But they play her, every single time. She keeps contact, she keeps on trying, she tries to make them fall in love with her with her grace. But the internal beauty she was showcasing was never of their interest. They just wanted her body, meat.