I have my own name... (A Dance Moms/One Direction Fan Fiction)

Chp. 5 My limbs....are jello

"AND ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT!!" My new dance teacher yells enthusiastically.

Expressing my emotions through the dance, sadness, anger, confusion. The ALDC girls facetime me every now and again, but things still feel strange. The guys are always out, Liam hanging with Danielle so very often, so I walk 4 miles home....everyday. They don't even realize it!! They think I only walk down the street and around the corner. And let me tell you, you never realize how long four miles is, when you've done hours and hours of straight dance and conditioning, and then have to walk for what seems like forever to get home.

"And that's a wrap!! Nice work today Payne!! I will gladly see you tomorrow for the competition!!" She squeals, clapping her hands as I walk out of the room. Grabbing my bag, I sling it over my shoulder, grab my phone and head phones out, and begin to play my music. Life is so hard sometimes....especially when your lying to someone or everyone you love.....

Dragging my feet across the worn pavement, my shoulders slouched, beads of sweat constantly dripping down my face, I see the house come into view.

"Thank the lord." I say, my parched mouth searching for water. Mustering up all my energy, I begin to jog my way to the house.....not run, JOG. That's how extremely tired I am, so when I walk through that silent house, I'm walking up to my room to take a nap. No questions asked. So when I FINALLY reach the door, I grab the knob, and twist. Expecting it to be locked as normal, but this time....it glides open. Hmm, weird. Setting my bag down next to the door, I look up to see....Daddy Direction. Well, with the look he's shooting me.....this CAN'T be good. 

"Hello Jenny."

"Hello LiLi. Sooooo, what's up? How's Dani?"

"Oh stop trying to distract me! You know I was going to ask something important."

"Okay, shoot!" I say, trying to act nonchalant, but in actuality my heart was thudding in my ears!

"Were've you been for the last hour?! Your practice ends at 2!! Not at 3!!"

"Look Li...there's something I've been keeping from you, and the rest of the boys...." I trail off.

"Spill!"

"Well you see, my dance studio isn't down the street and around the corner..."

"Well then where is it?!"

"Uhhhh, maybe four or five miles from here?" I say, but it comes out as more of a question.

"You've been walking four or five miles to dance for four hours, the walking all the way back?! You could've had an asthma attack and died!!!! You could've at least said something earlier!!"

Ugh, my asthma, he just had to bring it up. Pushing him out of the way, I run up the stairs, and into my bedroom. Why does he always have to talk about that?! He knows I hate my flaws!! Every girl does!! But he just has to point them out!! I want to be normal!! And I know, normal is over rated, but if your normal....everybody loves you. If your abnormal, your an outcast. And that's on my 'Do Not Do' list. AND I'm Liam Payne, Daddy Direction's little sister, so I have to be flawless. It's so hard to forget when people keep reminding you.....

~~~~~~~~

Hours. I've been sitting here for countless hours, because I don't have a clock. Laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking of everything that's going on. I have a dance competition that's an hour away that I have to walk to, Liam's pissed off at me, and not to mention he's going to tell the boys, and they're going to be mad at me too. Everything is just so complicated. Figuring out how to solve those problems, is just making it worse. Sighing deeply, I hear a soft knock at my door. 

"Jen?!" Someone whisper/yells.

"What do you want?! To come yell at me?! Tell me that I should've told you and not risked having a asthma attack?!"

"No....wait! Asthma attack?!"

Ahhh shoot, whoever this was didn't know about it. "Whatever. Just come in!" I say, wanting to bash my head into a wall from all this.....I don't even know what to call it. Harry walks in with a sad smile on his face.  

"Hi." I simply say.

"Hey. Uh, I just wanted to come by and say.....if you need someone to talk to I'm right here."

"Well, well, well! If you wanted to actually talk TO me, not AT me, you would've days ago. So just......yell."

"I'm not going to yell, I just want to ask.....why?"

"Because HAROLD, I, Jennifer Payne am 16 years old!!! I'm perfectly capable of walking my way to dance class!!! No matter how far away it is!!"

"Please don't yell, I just wanted to ask." He says, disappearing out the door.

Sucking in a shaky breath, I sigh deeply, and think 'Why does everybody have to be on my case about EVERYTHING?' Why? Mind your own business! Not someone else's!!!! Standing up, I walk over to my door and push it open. Trudging down the stairs, my knee bends under it's own command and I go tumbling down th stairs. Thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk! And with that, I finally made it to the bottom. No more walking......just crawling. Dragging myself into the living, everyone just stares at me. It's as if they were trying to say: 'Girl!!!! You got ISSUES!!!' Using the arm of the couch to pull myself off the ground, I lean against it to hold myself up.

"I HAVE IMPORTANT NEWS!!!!" I yell, everybody still continuing their conversations. Sighing, I walk over to my bag and grab my phone out of the front pocket. Quickly tapping in her ten digits, I tap the call button, and run up the stairs.

~~~~~~~~

"I wish you were here!"

"Yeah I know Chloe, but this here Jennette has a new dance crew."

"You don't realize how impatient Abby has become with us because she can't get anyone better than you! I swear, she is like a ticking time bomb!"

"Well I'm sure! But I'm having such issues here! You don't know how bad I want to crawl back there!!!"

"You can't Jenny!! You have to stay strong!!! I know things feel strange. Well, let me NOT sugar coat things.....it feels absolutely WRONG without you here, but I really can't change that."

"Yeah, well, I better go. We both have the competition tomorrow, and we have to get our rest, so good night Chloe!"

"Night Jenny!! Bye!"

"Bye!"

And with that, we both hung up. I really have been having a hard time deciding whether I should stay or not. It's really frustrating having all this weight on my shoulders: Making the boys angry at me, long tiring dance classes, mile home walks, not seeing my best friends. I wish I could go back to that life changing day, but I can't change what happens in the past. But I can change the puzzle pieces to my future, I don't think those are marked in stone just yet. But you have no idea how badly I want to say goodbye to the boys and go back to dancing with Abby. The screaming, shouting, years of muscle aching dance.......it was all worth it. But now it's gone just like that. Just like my dreams........