The Garden of Earthly Delights- Kylo Ren

Part 16

A/N: hey Yall...... long time no see..... like three years. I feel horrible for abandoning this fic. I wrote it when I was younger and just felt like I grew out of it. Reading back over it, I feel overwhelmed by the amount of emotions and miscommunication in this book, and am realizing how much I was projecting my feelings of insecurity as a form of self healing. Needless to say, I have changed a LOT and want to come back to this project just to finish it up. I'm hoping to write in some improvements in communication, self esteem and emotional regulation for the reader. Also more smut because some things haven't changed. If you're still here reading this, I appreciate you so much.

Where we left off: Reader tried to get Kylos attention as he was teaching and he takes her home and fucks her silly. She said I love you in the heat of the moment, regretted it, and Kylo secretly wishes she hadn't taken it back. He confronted her about the situation of her sub drop, moving past the "I love you" which leaves reader feeling some type of way. Ok enjoy.

Going to class the following week was okay, just a bit stressful. You and Kylo hadn't left off on bad terms. You had talked about your subdrop, what you needed from him and what he wanted to give you. Still, something was missing. You got a feeling once again that Kylo was not being transparent. He wasn't being as vulnerable as you were. Your brow furrowed at the thought. There was no way he hadn't thought about you saying 'I love you', and no way he thought sub drop was all that was wrong. Why was he avoiding the topic? He didn't seem angry. If anything, he seemed just as tense and uncomfortable as you. You wondered for a second if maybe he had wanted you to say it.

Regardless of what was happening with that whole situation, you didn't have time to worry about it. The semester was coming to an end, finals were coming up, and now was the time for you to focus on school and not worry about outside distractions. You were still a good student, after all.

You saw Kev and waved at him as you walked into the lecture hall, sitting in the front with him again and waiting patiently for the professor to walk in. When he did, he seemed slightly more tired than the last time you had seen him. He dressed a bit more casually today, sporting some dark jeans, a white t shirt that tightened around his large muscles slightly, and a flannel on top.

"Morning class," the class grumbled back a weak greeting in return.

"I know finals season is coming up and you all are stressed. I've decided to be generous and make the final optional" the class reacted with a series of excited thank you's and laughs.

"If you take it, it'll replace your lowest test score. Only if you do better on it. If you don't, I will drop it and it won't affect you. Questions?" The class stayed silent.

"There's also an extra credit essay opportunity. Three pages on your favorite piece. Five points added to your final grade if you turn one in. Any questions?" More thank you's ensued.

"That being said, attendance is optional for the next few classes. If you have no interest in taking the final exam, then there isn't much holding you here other than wanting to learn. I'll be gone the last few days of class anyways, so we won't be having classes those days either. I'll send out an email with specifics later. Take this time to focus on your other classes"

You scribbled some doodles on to the notebook in front of you. Where was he going? Why had he not mentioned anything to you? You took a deep breath, choosing to cut your thoughts off. 'Just enjoy the fact you get to spend time with him at all'. You tried to calm your own nerves and appreciate the relationship you had without wanting to force it into something it wasn't yet.

The lecture was also cut short. He explained some more course mechanics, taught a bit and then dismissed the class. He  appeared stressed, a firm knot forming between his brows as he looked at his computer. You let the class file out, taking more time than necessary putting your things away.