My friend, Demise

Chapter 14

I sat in the bathroom, twirling the gun I'd been given just a day ago in my hand. I told myself I'd never use it, ever. I'm at home, staring at the last message I'd gotten from Demise before he was shot.

Demise| where are you

I turned my phone off and put the gun away, standing up and splashing water on my face.

"Darling, are you okay?" My mom knocked on the door but I didn't respond. I left the water running and stared at myself in the mirror. My now permanently red and puffy eyes were still dripping tears. I'd been crying since I got back from the police station and I knew I wasn't stopping anytime soon.

My expression is dead and all I feel is violent anger and pain. I hadn't told anyone about the gun he gave me, or how much I loved the time we spent together. I hadn't even told him how much I loved him and now he was in the hospital with a bullet wound in his chest.

I opened the bathroom door, water still running. My mother gave me a sad look. "Honey-"

I grabbed her by the wrists and shoved her aside. She fell of course, looking up at me as if she understood what I was doing and why I was doing it. "Dont. I want you to leave me alone."

"Hey." One of the nurses in the hall walked over to me and helped me mom stand. "Don't push her like that."

"Oh don't worry, I'm okay." My mom diffused the situation quickly.

"Sorry." I muttered to her, feeling guilty that she fell.

"You haven't slept." She walked into the bathroom to shut the water off. "Or eaten....please just take care of yourself."

"Like how you guys take care of me?" I softened the anger in my eyes, the feeling of Demise hugging me wrapping around my body like a warm blanket. I could still smell him, hear his voice, taste his lips.

"We take care of you."

"When was the last time you guys hugged me?"

She thought about it for a moment before her eyes filled with tears. "Oh my god...I'm so sorry!" She wrapped her arms around me so fast that my head spun.

"It's fine. But let go...I feel sick."

"You're still crying..." she smiled weakly as she stepped back.

"I can't stop."

"You really like Demi, don't you?"

"Seeing him in a hospital room makes me want to puke." I shook my head and walked back to his room, sitting next to his bed and holding his limp hand while anxiously biting my nails. I listened to his heart monitor, hating the sound but comforted by the fact it was still beeping.

"Azriel." Jasmine crouched down in front of me while her mom spoke to mine. "You've got to stop crying, Hun."

I swallowed softly. "You weren't there. You didn't see him, he sounded like he was going to die."

"He's not gonna die."

"He got shot in the chest."

"He's okay."

I look over at his lifeless and pals hand, his veins looking darker than usual. His fingers are cold and they won't even twitch like they usually do while he sleeps in class. "No, he's not."

"Look at me." She placed both hands on either side of my face and leaned close, lowering her voice. "He's going to be just fine."

I felt him squeeze my hand, making me jump to my feet and lean over him. His eyes opened before squinting and I watched him use his other hand to block the light. "Damn... it's bright in here."

"Are you okay? Can you breathe?" I asked him quickly, which made him smile a little though his obviously pained expression.

"Mm...." he mumbled. "You're blurry. Azriel, isn't it?"

"Yea, it's me." I pushed the hair out of his eyes.

"You're so worried. You should see your stupid blurry face right now."

"This isn't something to joke about."

"...No. I'm in a lot of pain."

"How bad? Should I get the nurse? Should I-"

"No. I uh-....I got shot in the lungs. It's hard to breathe and whenever I cough, I can taste blood but I can't see it."

"How bad does it hurt?"

"Oh god man" he laughed ruggedly. "Don't ever say you want to die again. This shit hurts."

"What?" He stopped talking and loosened his hand, letting it fall out of mine. He looked at me with a somewhat hopeful expression. "Hey... what do you mean?"

"Remember in the car. You said-"

"I know that but why did you just say it like that?" His breathing slowed down, his heartbeat doing the same. "Demise!"

"It's been happening on and off since before they let you in." Jasmine grabbed my hand and pulled me away as the heart monitor let out a long beeping sound. Around ten different people ran in, but Jasmine made sure I stayed focused on her. "He's been flatlining every time he wakes up. He's pushing himself too hard because he doesn't want to be here."

"Pushing himself too hard?"

"Filling his lungs too much and putting stress on the injury. He's trying to breathe normally and he needs to breathe really slowly and stop whenever it hurts. The oxygen machine helps out while he's unconscious but if he keeps overworking his lungs, he might actually die."

"You said he'd be okay-"

"He will. He'll stop being stubborn now that he's seen you so worried for him."

I took a slow breath and gently pushed her hands off of me. "I have to go."

"Hey-" she grabbed my shoulder but I immediately turned around and drew my hand back.

"Don't fucking touch me!" My mother grabbed my wrist before I could hit her. I sighed and yanked my hand back down to my side. "And you..." I turned to my mom. "Just...fuckin' leave me alone."

I left the hospital and went home, ignoring my father as walked into my room and rummaged though my bedsheets. I remember looking for my phone charger but I found something that only made my mood worse.

The choker id worn every time Demise requested it.

I picked it up and latched it sprung my neck.

Please live.