Meijer Mannequin (2017)

Just a Normal Day in Jenison

6:00 am and Jerry was out of bed. He walked to his closet, grabbed his uniform, and scurried to the bathroom.

"I need to take a shower, but I'm supposed to be at work in 30 minutes!" Jerry said to himself, "I guess I'll go to work with a bit of b.o."

He put on his uniform and ran down the stairs to his garage. His car wasn't there.

"My flip floppin' car is gone? Really?" Jerry was furious for a few seconds until he realized, "Oh yeah, it's in the driveway."

Jerry opened the garage door and saw his car parked on the flat driveway.

"Thank God! Now let's just hope it starts."

It took Jerry 3 minutes to start his car (which was better than the usual 5). He pulled out of his driveway and headed off to work. At 6:29 am Jerry arrived at Meijer, ready for his third day on the job. He took his keys out of the ignition, opened the door, and hurriedly walked through the automatic doors on the left.

"I'm here!" Jerry said, out of breath.

"Ok... but you're late. You need to be punctual Jerry! Being in time is the key to keeping this job. Now get to work!" His boss was furious, but kept his cool.

Jerry nodded and went to register 6 to begin his work for the day. He stood there for almost 10 minutes waiting for someone to come and check out. Then, a woman came up to register 6 with a cart full of groceries.

"How are you doing today, ma'am?" Jerry asked politely.

"Did you just assume my gender?"

"Uh... no?"

"Ok, well I'll have you know that I am not a woman!"

"I'm truly sorry sir-"

"I'm not a man either!!!"

"Then what are you?" Jerry was so confused.

"Just scan my groceries so I never have to see you again!"

"Ok, I'm sorry..." Jerry scanned all 55 of the customer's groceries in silence, gave them the receipt, and said, "Have a nice day!"

The customer mumbled in a seemingly sarcastic tone, "You too..."

After a few more customers, Jerry decided to take a small break. All of the people he had seen that day were rude to him and he needed to chill out, so a break was just what he needed. He sat under the stairs and took a few deep breaths. 30 minutes passed and he didn't seem any calmer, but he had to get back to work or his boss might yell at him. So Jerry went back to register 6 and continued his job as cashier.

Another woman walked up to register 6, but this time Jerry knew not to call her ma'am, so he said, "Hey, how's your day going?"

"Just fine and dandy! How 'bout you?" Her southern accent threw Jerry for a loop.

People usually had good grammar in Jenison, but she obviously didn't. The only thing holding Jerry back from laughing was the fact that she didn't say y'all. If she had, he would've been cracking up.

Despite her poor grammar and accent, Jerry replied pleasantly, "I'm good."

"That's great! Y'all have a nice store here!"

That was it, he bursted out in laughter.