Doki Doki Despair Club

Act I, Day III

Just another day. Time for the club meeting. I've gotten pretty comfortable over here in the past couple of days, and as much as I hate to admit it, I don't feel like a complete dweeb willingly picking up books that aren't my favorite manga series. Entering the clubroom, I make eye contact with Oma-san first, who seems to be in a good mood.

"Saihara-chan~!"
"Hey, Oma-san."
"I still can't believe I finally got you to join a club! My beloved is all grown up now!"
"I don't understand how something so simple can put you in such a good mood, but I guess it is always the little things when it comes to you."
"E-eh? Are you body shaming me? Waaahhhhh!!! Saihara-chan is such a bully!"
"Oma-san..."
"Fine, fine. But I could stand to get some food into my system right about now, wanna come with me to get a snack?"
"Hmm, let me think... no, no, no, no, and... still no."
"W-what? When did you become so uptight?! You know that when Iruma-san says she has a stick up her ass, she means it literally, right?"

"Oma-san, I think I've known you long enough to see that you're bluffing about me coming with you to get a snack." I'll reveal the truth! It ends here!

"In fact, Oma-san, why don't we take a look at your purse?" I shout out.

"Um, well, that is..." Oma-san rambles off, turning her purse upside down, only for a few measly coins to come out. "Nihishishi, surprise??"

"I knew it, you can't fool me with those lies, Oma-san." I sigh.

"Hey, that's unfair! What cheat codes are you using to see through me like that?" she demands.

"Well, it's quite simple, really. Why would a supreme leader of evil like you usually need company just to get a snack from an inferior vending machine? You had some other incentive, and that was to get me to buy you a snack, wasn't it?!" I tease.

"Ughhh, fine, you got me there, Saihara-chan." she says, grumbling in defeat.

Hearing Tojo-san giggle suddenly, we turn around to find her face in the book she got for the both of us. "Huh?" I say. Was she listening in on us?

"A-ah! My apologies if I confused you, I wasn't listening to your conversation, it was simply...something I was reading." she stutters.

"Tojo-chaaannnnn~~~~~, tell Saihara-chan to give me some money for astro cake and Panta!"

"Eh? I advise you don't involve me in a situation that has zero to do with me, Oma-san. If you have a request, I'd be happy to fulfill it, but frankly, after toying with Saihara-kun like that, you deserve to sit and think about what you've done, that is minimal retribution for you to face." Tojo-san says sternly. I guess they don't call her the mom of the group for nothing, huh? Better make sure she never hears that though.

Oma-san and I stare at her, at a loss for words. Who knew she could get like that?

"!! Did I just--no, it's nothing! I apologize, I seem to have gotten too absorbed in my book.." she says, somewhat embarrassed.

"Nishishi, I really like when Tojo-chan speaks her mind. Doesn't happen much, but I guess even she can get fed up!"

"Ahaha, I suppose there's a little devil inside all of us, even someone as seemingly innocent as yourself, Oma-san." Tojo-san replies.

"Nishishi~"

Suddenly, something hits Oma-san on the forehead before falling onto the desk.

"Ow.. what was... eh? My favorite astro cake?!"

Sure enough, it's a freeze-dried slice of caramel astro cake. Oma-san glances around confusedly before her eyes land on Iruma-san, who just walked into the classroom.