Infernal Redemption

Chapter 3

While I sat in my room, removing the pounds of makeup caked on my skin, I saw Ryan through the telly set up. I had the widest smile on my face and I finally felt the much raved about slender comfort.

 He looked absolutely insane standing up on centre stage in a metallic gold jacket and a bright neon orange tee shirt with green pants. Yep, this man was outright crazy. He probably changed after I left and I already missed his old rugged look. I had asked him to wear the most obnoxious outfit while singing exactly what his heart felt and he didn’t fail. I was actually more inclined on the latter part of the promise he made me. Music kicked in and I already knew what song it was. “Pictures” by Terry McDermott, one of my recent favourites and Ryan sang it with so much conviction that it left me bathing in goose bumps.  Who was this song for? My mind questions my equally clueless heart.

After an extremely long terrifying hour that left me half in splits and half in worry, Ryan walks in. I hug him tight, kissing his neck lightly and he breaks out of my bond. He just stands there holding my hand, running soothing circles on my palm. This was bad; I could sense it in his comforting. He was trying to be as gentle as possible and such a silky shift in the atmosphere only meant that critical jam I had foreseen.

"I shouldn't have" he mumbles. "I should have known better, my heart isn't in its place, its miles away with a girl I met when I was recording my last album. I'm riding in guilt right now, I'm terribly sorry." He now tried to pull me back into a hug but I planted a firm step back.

"So, are you guys still together?"

"No, she lives in France and has her dream job. She isn't ready to uproot everything for a guy she's been with for only seven months."

Sometimes, seven months is enough time to know if you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody or not. When you get this attached to somebody, length doesn't seem to matter. It takes moments to fall in love with someone and an entire lifetime to undo that love.

"Long distance?"

"We don't believe in that. She was one of those few girls who looked at me like I was a human instead of a Greek God, she looked at me just the way you do. So much concern in her eyes but she never showed it. That's what I loved about her, a feeling of normalness. That and her feisty sarcastic mouth, gosh I miss her so much"

Oh girl, what have you gotten yourself into, my mind said to my heart. They all said that there was something about Ryan Cane that drew even the laziest spirit towards him and I never believed them. I always thought the only reason women flocked him like sheep were because of his stardom, and today for the first time in a very long time, I was proven wrong. I don't know what irritated me more, the fact that I was wrong or the fact that he hadn't told me about all of this before he started flirting with me. I couldn't blame the man for trying to move on, in vain. The only thing left for me to do was leave him be and not further press into his vivacious charm. A failure of attraction was gentler than the failure of the heart.

After carefully evaluating the words in my mind, I whispered "My eyes are sore and I would love to listen to you ramble on about how amazing she is but I can't. Change that to a will not. I'm going to my hotel room, I'll see you later."

"Angel.." he started to say something and tried to reach out for me but whatever it was, stayed choked up in his mouth.

I stayed in bed tossing and turning for a few awkward heartbeats, there was something so odd about what he just said and did. On one hand, I knew he wanted to kiss me as much as I did, maybe even more but on the other his words just say the exact opposite. I was playing with the soul of fire and I knew I was going to get a massive burn but I couldn't stop myself. He intrigued me, in the way dragon scales do to lost princesses. He intrigued me, in the way quicksilver does to a clenched fist but never for a second had I expected the curiosity that rose in his name to be so urgent that it would drive my mind restless.