Infernal Redemption

Prologue

“Daddy, do monsters exist?”

“Only if you feed them, mermaid”

“And daddy, do ghosts exist?”

“Why are you asking me these questions, princess? Has your baby sitter been telling you scary stories?”

“No, daddy, I heard someone in school say that she had monsters under her bed and I checked, I looked very hard but I couldn’t find any of them.”

“Janae, you are a very good girl. Monsters are scared of you, my brave heart.”

“No daddy, you are the best. You are my hero and I only sometimes I miss mom.”

“I know princess; I miss her too, only sometimes.”

“Can we miss her together?”

Janae’s father got off the couch and put on his wedding video. His dark hair now had slight greys from worrying too much and his brown eyes looked weary.

“Daddy, you look so handsome. I don’t like this beard thing on you and mommy looks so pretty, she looks like a beautiful Queen with her hair all up. I will wear her wedding dress on my wedding day. Some prince will come and take me away, mommy used to tell me that. But pops, I don’t want to leave you. Can I keep you both?”

“You are growing up too fast Janae, how old are you again? Three?”

“Very funny pops, you know I am five and a half. We just ate cake on my half birthday.”

 “I know mermaid, can we keep you all small like this? My own little angel.”  He planted a kiss on his daughter’s temples and cuddled her until his ache began to soothe a little.

“You are very funny daddy, now please don’t tickle me.”

“Missing mommy comes at a price.” He tickled his little girl until every cause of want for her mother disappears. Her squeals drowned his worries and she repeated the same thing she said every time this incident took place.

“Pops, why did mommy leave?”

“Mermaid, I told you, your mother was a queen and because she was that she had to go to a kingdom far far away, you know daddy doesn’t like talking about it.”

“I’m not four anymore, I am five and a half. I know daddy, it makes you very sad to talk about it and then some days you even need medicine to sleep. Tell me when you want to pops, but don’t tell me lies. Miss Fitz says it’s a very bad thing, this lying”

“Janae, it’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.” Her father wiped a couple of tears off his eyes and tried to smile. It had been over a year and a half that she had left them and he couldn’t get himself to forget about her. The day he signed those divorce papers, had been the worst day of his life. Eight years of marriage and five years of dating the same woman, he couldn’t even get himself to go out on a date with anybody new. Nobody could ever take her place, he thought. Janae was starting to look and behave a lot like her mother and that hadn’t been easy on him, but she was his little angel. She always tried to make him feel better and even at five, she knew more than most kids her age.

She was the only thing keeping him together and Janae knew enough to not talk about her mother often. She had these rare instances, once in maybe six months where she would sit down and watches her mother on video tapes, imitating her grace. She contained everything and gave as much as she could. Janae was special, she was created by God to be one of his angels and he knew she was the reason why he survived all of this.

Janae shifted in her father’s lap to hug him tight and stroke his beard. She sighed a couple of times, took in a few deep breaths and said “Daddy, I want to grow up and be a very famous person. So famous that mommy will come looking for me and then I will tell her how much you missed her and she will come back to us. She has to come back to us, right pops?”

“Can you ever be wrong?”

“Never.” She bursts into a series of giggles and tried to comfort her father’s aching soul. Her mother would come back, she would make her.

 Janae would sleep believing this every night until one day she faced the truth and stopped looking.