Infernal Redemption

Chapter 2

A week passed by like a breeze, just the way it is before a storm. I was too caught up in my conversations with Ryan to ever notice that something might go wrong. He fascinated me, like a child takes fancy to new toys. I saw a different side to him in every conversation we had and somewhere behind those green eyes and long thick lashes, I realised he was just another child who was scared of the night. He never acted like he was 25; to him he was and will always be 15 till he dies. He’d bump into me all the time like gravity had forgotten to provide him balance and his long neat fingers would always be itching to tickle my sides.

Today is the day, I thought. Today is when I left for my short tour with Ryan. I was extra careful with everything that I had to do and even sent out a little prayer to God, I was all but five minutes late to my spot in his tour bus and I hear a grumpy, arrogant voice

“There she is, can we leave now?” a hint of commanded displeasure oozed from his tone. I stood there glaring at him, courtesy seem to evade him this day. Whatever was stuck up his ass needed to get its way out, pronto.

“And good morning to you too” I say in my usual cheerful voice, maybe a little too much considering the air around was denser than usual.

He murmured an inaudible sigh, a something meant to brush me off. His mood was on a serious see saw, and everybody around could sense it. They just walked out of his way. All he did through the three seriously nauseous hours of travel was text. He typed furiously into his phone; at one point I thought he would break it in two.

Right before my first performance as an opening act, I walk up to Ryan. My stylist decorates my face and hair with false lashes and tons of hair spray but none of that seems to generate a slight amount of reaction from Ryan.

 I muster the courage to ask him “Ryan what’s wrong?”

“Eh, nothing.”

“That sure doesn’t sound like nothing.”

“You’re supposed to be on stage in 5, go. Angel, you’ll be great, stop shaking. They’re going to love you.”

I gave him one long glance through my lashes, soothed his aching frown and kissed his cheek before turning around to own the stage. Some days, I didn’t quite get him. He seemed so hot and cold at the same time that it could easily be the cause of anyone’s insanity. It had been a week and a half of me knowing him and my life already seemed different. I laughed more and for one moment in this infinite time I didn’t feel alone, I felt like there was someone sailing this ship along with me. I didn’t know his story enough, but honestly, I didn’t need to. He seemed to take all grief away from my eyes as if swallowing my all and letting me have his share of happiness.

That’s another funny thing about grief, your eyes can try and hide it, but your words always fail you. On days when his mind wouldn’t agree with his heart, his head would find its way to my lap, waiting for my fingers to gently stroke them, calming his nerves. Something troubled him and he wouldn’t say it in so many words. Majority of the time I was left to gauge the mood he was in before approaching him.

He was so guarded, yet on the other hand he loved his games and my inquisitive self always fell for them. Lord knows, this might be one of them.

I left the stage after singing a couple of original and covers including Kiss Me Slowly by Parachute and headed straight towards Ryan’s dressing room. It was the best feeling, this performance and being on stage, number two on my imaginary list. That power to sway the crowd, someday I hope to be as amazing as Freddie Mercury. The way he moved crowds and seas was brilliant, I wish he were still here with us, I would have sold my soul to perform with him just once. I had performed at smaller crowds and when I was singing into the camera for my video posts, there weren’t actual people in front of me. The crowd at my usual café wasn’t as vast as this and I never had this much control over a crowd before. I was scared, nervous and ecstatic all at the same time. The lights, the energy, it all blew me away. I was so surprised when my enthusiastic audience began singing songs from my EP along with me. I heard screams of ‘We love you’ and that was all I needed to know that my writing and voice were heading in the right direction.

A wide smile, slightly short of a grin was plastered on my face and I thanked everybody congratulating me on my performance as I strutted along the stadium hallways to march towards the dressing. I gripped around the red shawl a crew member placed on me and nervously I knocked on Ryan’s door.

“You were amazing out there, I hardly heard the lyrics to your songs from all that screaming, but I did recognise the tune of the last one in a heartbeat” he said, sending a knowing wink my way. I had finally done it; I conveyed my desires through that beautiful song and held up my end of the bargain.

“Why, thank you Cane. Are you ready with your next task?” I ask as I carelessly run my fingers up and down his bare arm. He stood before me in a dark tank top and slightly loose jeans. If desire and a form and being, it would most definitely be called Ryan Cane.

“Yep, but that’s going to take a while to finish.” He whispered as he got close enough for me to inhale the scent of his intoxicating perfume. He smelled like danger freshly laced with spice. It was almost impossible to not be attracted to someone like him. His looks needed no introduction but that wasn’t why I found him so hard to resist. It was the little things he did to make me smile and the tiny things he said in the form of chilled words that actually warmed my heart. His words had a masked truth behind them and it’s his smart mouth that got my attention.

“You smell so good, is that Chanel no 5?” I tease, trying to mask the status of my intentions.

He stalked slowly towards me, like the tiger does to his prey. He was the finest piece of nature, so crude yet so pure. In the weeks I spent with him, my heart had soaked up so much love that over flow was the only next, inevitable step. All I knew in that one brief moment we shared under the light was that I wanted to spend all my body and soul on him.

“I dare you to do exactly what’s on your mind” his eyes glazed in something unknown, a colour I had never seen his eyes change to.

“What’s the rush, sugar? We’ve got an entire evening to ourselves.”

He pushed further into me and I stared at him for a couple of minutes. My fingers laced his and my heart began beating like a wild animal against its chains. I took a step back and whispered “You’ll have to earn it”

I wanted to, so badly. I did want to, but I couldn’t wrap my head together and just give myself the green signal. I was doing everything I could to buy more time only because I half knew that if I would kiss him, things between us wouldn’t be the same. Want and Right were fighting a war inside my body and in matter of seconds one or both would lose.

“My Angel” he mumbled in my ear, played with the tips of my hair and brought his lips in breathing distance to mine. Oxygen needed to crawl into my lungs because I forgot how to inhale and exhale. All my senses were focused on his musky scent. It was physically impossible to not be this close to him and I don’t know if it was the heat of this closeness or his words but the minute he pulled back and reached for the door knob I pulled him into me and kissed him. I hated to admit this, and I would probably never tell Ryan this, but my knees lost its purpose every time he called me his Angel. I felt like one when he called me that, it probably was the conviction with which he said the word which threw me off to the other side of rational thinking.

My lips connected with his and we found each other in the lost fizz of drowning enchantment. My hands gripped his hair and his touched my waist. Suddenly, the fever in the room defeated that of an Indian summer. I was startled by a shout coming from the other side of this invisible border. It was time for him to take to the stage and I pushed him onto his couch, looked deeply into his eyes and very huskily said “Break a leg” and walked out of his vanity. He just sat there digesting what just went down, running his fingers into those luscious strands of hair