Love never wanted

Hurting Her

Nora POVAfter taking care of him for two days my life was back to normal. But one thing was interesting Carter started talking to me again. We would talk by text or call or when he visits my office. We even went for dates but this time it didn't end in his bed. But sometimes we would talk for days and sometimes no calls or texts. I didn't question him and let it happen. One night I went clubbing with my friends. I went clubbing just so that I can find Carter or maybe with another girl. I saw David one of Carter's friends. I asked him about Carter's whereabouts which he didn't know. I know David and Carter know each other for a long time. I ask him about Carter's past. He told me something which made me realize that why he behaves like this. Carter had a girl before he even joined college who was from her hometown. He came to this city to complete his college. The long-distance was affecting both of them. When he went back home after completing the first term, the girl's behavior had changed but Carter was too blind to see it. One day he found the girl was cheating on him which left him heartbroken. So he stops feeling emotions and prevents himself from falling in love. I felt bad that he needs love in his life. I started approaching him making the effect even if he doesn't want to see me. I try meeting him every week once making a healthy meal for him. Many times he rejected me and even my food. I didn't mind I just wanted him to be happy or maybe hoping one day he will love me back.Carter POVNora is behaving weirdly. She would call me and ask me if I am doing okay or I had my meals. Seriously I love that, I loved how she cares for me and the thing I missed most in my life right now. But I am scared of falling in love. I am scared to let my heart broken again, I can't do this. I hate the version of me after my ex. I keep pushing Nora away but she keeps coming back. I need her out of my life at any cost and took drastic action.I called her one day and said I want to have a date. She accepted it and even told her that I have a surprise for her. I opened the door of the main entrance and a delicious aroma hit my nose. My heart clench knew that I will make her hate me. I entered the kitchen. She happily walks to me as she acknowledges my presence. Her expression changed when he found that someone was behind me. She asks about the gentleman standing behind me. I took steps to her and tell her he was the surprise I was talking about. Her face dropped in confusion. I made it clear that I planned a threesome with one of my friends. She was scared to the point that she started to breathe heavily. She shook her head. I try to hold her arm but she would yank my hand away. Forcible grab her hand to drag her to the bedroom and she tries to release her hand from mine. She looked scared and was a crying mess. So to end this, I shouted at her and telling her that she was a useless person and I don't want to see her ever again. Hearing that she ran out of the house crying. I successfully made her hate me.I hate myself for what I did to her but it was good for her and great for me. The level of guilty took new heights when I got to know that she was fired from her job. His office people found out that we were dating. I called her few times but she didn't respond. I distract myself from her because I don't want to start this again and hurt her more because of my insecurities. I saw one of Nora's friends in a restaurant and my heart took me to her. She was yelled at me for hurting her but I listen to her sincerely. A new piece of information came to light which made me realize how of a monster of a person I am? Nora was an orphan and she didn't have anybody except for her friends. It's not guilt, it's something more than that. I was scared of getting hurt but it turns me into something I can't even imagine. The guilt was killing me inside. There was no point apologizing because it won't make things right it's beyond repair. Maybe I don't even deserve an apology. I was in the worst state, worst than after my ex cheated. Now she is haunting me with her memories, her face, and her smile. I found myself down at the bottom of the alcohol bottle. End of flashback