Letters to Kyle

October 5, 2020

Dearest Kyle,

Happiest Birthday to the man of my dreams. To the man who once stole my heart. To the only man who made me insane in love, Kyle you are no longer a teen—you're an adult how.

You were just sixteen back then when I had a big crush on you. I can only say that time flies so fast. Isn't it? Anyway, since this is your birthday—of course, I made a wish for you.

I only wish for your genuine happiness, for your success, for your good health and abundance in life, and especially I wish that God may grant all your wishes and desires.

I know—it has been four years and two months since the very moment that I had liked you. Frankly speaking—nothing had changed, well of course except the fact that we've grown up and we've matured, but overall—the feelings I had for you never changed, well I can only say that it changed a little—because I like you even more now.

Even though my love for you may have not blossomed, always remember that you will always be the man that I can only offer my written poems and countless unsent letters. As long as I'm breathing—I will always have a love for literature. I will always have a love for poetry. The love for poems and letters. And I will always have a love for you.

I know you couldn't like me the way I do.

But as long as we're staring at the same stars, as long as we're both under the same sky, as long as we're wishing to the same moon—and as long as we're breathing the same air... I will always have this grateful heart.

Kyle, meeting you and liking you, and being friends with you weren't just a coincidence; it wasn't a short span of a time moment. I know it was destiny.

Nothing happens by coincidence.

Everything happens for a reason. I don't know what reason may it be—but I am certain that meeting you was a destined one.

In this vast world—how come that I fell in love with someone who can't love me back? Maybe just maybe—because I would learn from it, I had learned from this unrequited love that it's fine to love and not to be loved back.

As long as you're happy loving that person—then go for it, love that person with all your heart until your heartaches. As long as I still love you—I'll continue loving you.

I know soon enough this love will fade and vanish and disappear into thin air until I couldn't hold a grasp in this love. Then sooner, I will be having a hard time remembering this kind of love.

If I have this Hanahaki Disease would you worry until you finally decided to give back the same amount of love I had given you?

I have read it somewhere that this fictional disease will cause someone to vomit flower petals and even the whole flower itself if the person experiences unrequited love. It may be deadly, for the flowers that had stuck in her lungs can cause her difficulty of breathing and suffocation.

She can only be saved if the person she loves finally decided to love her back or if she would undergo surgery to remove the flowers until the feelings she had for him will eventually fade away.

But don't worry—that disease isn't true, it was just fictional. All I was trying to say is—I had survived but still experiencing this so-called 'Hanahaki Disease'.

Happiest birthday again, Kyle, I know you'd have a bright and wonderful future ahead of you. Padayon lang! God bless you and your whole fam. Keep safe always! Take care of your heart. - L