Of Irrevocable Fate And Virtue

01

8 months.

It had been 8 months since I had seen Draco Malfoy. Since I had touched Draco Malfoy. Hugged him. Kissed him. Told him I loved him.

8 months.

All those months ago, I had no idea whether or not I would see him again. I had no idea whether or not he or I would make it out of this war alive.

On that day 8 months ago, the only words that my trembling lips were able to make were the ones "I love you." His frantic speech and his pleas for me to leave were all that filled my ears. His desperate eyes all that filled my memories.

"Please, Scarlett, you promised you would. You promised me you would go. You need to get out of here. Please."

His words were thick with desperation, his grip on my arms as tight as iron. His grey eyes bore into mine, filled with sadness and worry. Love and self-hatred. Misery and pain that I wanted to erase. I wanted him to come with me. I didn't want to leave him.

"I'm not—Draco, I can't. There's—" I tried to stutter over the growing chaos around us as wizards and witches of all ages screamed and panicked.

"Please—" He nearly yelled, grabbing a hold of my face, "Please, Scarlet. Please. You have to go. You can't stay here. I won't be able to live with myself if something happens to you. It's not safe here anymore."

His hands were shaking violently, and I now saw how the tears streaked his face.

He was terrified.

"I—I can't. I need you, Draco. I'm not leaving you. We aren't—" I panicked, looking for his eyes frantically.

"Scarlett!" I heard the distraught voice of Pansy Parkinson running near, along with that of Hermione Granger and Ginny Weasley, "We have to go now!"

I looked back to Draco, the fear of leaving one another in both of our eyes.

Why didn't I tell him? I should have told him.

"You're going with them." Draco looked at me directly in the eyes, "You're going with them. You promised. I can't protect you once the rest of them get here. You know that."

"You can come with us—" Tears poured over onto my cheeks in buckets.

"You know I can't, Scarlett." His chin slightly trembled as the words left his lips, "You fight for me, I fight for you. We are going to make it through this. Just...please stay safe, darling. I cannot lose you." He pulled me into a tight hug.

Why didn't I tell him then?

"I'll always find my way back to you, Scarlett. You have my heart. You know that." He whispered into my hair, hugging me like it would be our last.

"You have to." I managed to whimper, "You have to come back to me."

He pulled me back and grabbed my face again before our lips pressed together passionately amongst the screams of terror that were increasing in volume.

"I love you so much, Scarlett." He whispered before kissing my forehead, squeezing his eyes shut with a single tear falling down his cheek.

Tell him. Tell him. Tell him.

"I love you so much." I whispered, my lips trembling.

I felt Pansy, Ginny, and Hermione grab me, before I was being pulled away from the love of my life. He watched as I cried out for him. He bit the inside of his lip, his hands in fists as if he were in pain.

I should have told him.

The last time I saw Draco Malfoy was in those last few moments in the now steadily burning corridor in the exact place we first met.

I watched as his expression turned from teary to icy, like his humanity had been switched off in that moment.

In those last view moments of view, I watched as my wizard, my Draco, the love of my life, was cloaked in dark black robes and a silver mask, erasing any identifying marks of him, before he was gone in a puff of black smoke.

I didn't tell him. That was the one thing I wanted to tell him, that he deserved to know, and I couldn't even get it out. It could have been the difference between life and death. That's what I thought in that moment.

I knew with every fiber of my being that Draco would fight for me. He would fight to never have to leave me again. He would fight to find his way back to me.

But as I was dragged away by those that promised to take me away when the time came, I couldn't stop myself from worrying. Worrying about whether or not knowing that there was now two of us that he was fighting for would change the way he fought for our future.

I wish more than anything that I had told him that day 8 months ago.

8 months ago, my life changed in more than one way.

8 months ago, everything I knew was taken away from me.

8 months ago, I should have just fucking told him.

Draco...I'm pregnant.