Forever & Always || Redlyn

Confusion

"I'm back— Ash?" Big Red sat by Ashlyn, who was nestled in blankets. She sniffled, showing him she acknowledged his presence. "Um... how are you?" When a reply didn't come, he pulled the blankets over his head too, looking at her in the almost pitch black. She turned away. "Baby, come here. Please." She stubbornly turned back to him, letting him hug her. "Did I upset you?"

"N- No."

"What's wrong?" He softly questioned.

"I'm really scared, and upset, and sorry."

"Hey, hon... I understand you're upset, and I get that you're scared, but don't apologize."

"I drove you out of here." She whispered, shifting. "I got weird, and I drove you out. I couldn't just tell you that I love you, or that I love Hazel, and I couldn't look at you."

"I... well, yes, but I'm not upset with you. I'm just upset."

"With me."

"No, I'm upset that you don't feel like you can right now."

"It's confusing me, you know?" Ashlyn asked, pushing the blankets off both of them so they could see each other better. "My parents. They were together my whole life. It's been years. They had to think they loved each other. Anyone could get divorced."

"No. Not anyone. It's not gonna happen to us." He said, enveloping her hands in his own. "The biggest choice I made was marrying you. It was also the easiest. An equally huge and easy decision was Hazel. Because I haven't had a doubt that I want to be with you. I love you, and that's not ever gonna change. You're absolutely perfect. I have no doubt of that. I have no doubt I love you." He said. She curled closer to him. "Think about right now, Ash. Don't think about choices we're made up to here, because we made them, and I don't think any of them were wrong. Don't think about the future, you know that always makes things worse. You're getting anxious about this, but... when I proposed, when we got married, when we talked about having a kid, when you had her, when you did your dream job because you knew we wouldn't drift about. All those times. There weren't doubts, were there?"

"No." She quietly mumbled into his shoulder, before gently kissing it. "I love you."

"Yeah." He smiled slightly. "I love you too. So please don't overthink this."

"I guess it's too late anyways. We're married. We've got the best kid ever. Overthinking always makes things worse than they were before."

"That's exactly it." He kissed her cheek.

"I'm really sorry about earlier, because I do love you. Of course I love you. I don't know how I'm supposed to make that up, because... well... it just seemed like I didn't. Or like I doubt that. I know I love you right now, I will love you forever. It's just all about what could happen, which I know I shouldn't focus on. Things have happened. I've always loved you."

"You don't have to make it up to me. Besides, that was beautiful. As long as we continue communicating, we'll be alright." Big Red managed to pull her closer in the hug, Ashlyn resting her head on his chest.

"Thank you. For everything you've said."

"Of course. Now, just because we're alright, doesn't mean you can't be upset. It doesn't mean you aren't upset."

"I'm upset." She nodded.

"You should be, baby. What do you wanna do?"

"I wanna rest for a little while, but I would like to go back to Salt Lake today. Just for friends. Not family. Unless we run into them."

"Okay. Do you want me here, or?"

"Yeah." She propped her head up to kiss him before lying back down. "I love you, love."

"You're kinda overdoing it now." He laughed.

"Yeah maybe a little." She smiled. "But, I mean, my mind is swarmed with how much I love you. I'm just saying it."

"I love you too."

"Do you still wanna go?" Big Red asked Ashlyn after she woke up, having fell asleep by him.

"I'm actually feeling really tired. Some other time babe." She stretched her arms. "I love you."

"Love you too."

"Like I really, really, really love you." She began rambling. "Not like a little bit, I'm actually just so in love with you I—"

"This 'bout earlier?"

"Yeah." She stopped.

"Well, I love you too. And again, you're forgiven."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But you have to actually forgive me, and know I didn't mean it, so I'll keep saying it."

"But I know, Ash." He kissed her cheek. "We had the discussion. And we're married."

"Yes, I know." She hugged him. "We don't need to turn it into a Ricky. I'll go feed Hazel." She kissed his forehead and got up to feed Hazel. Awhile later, they joined him on the bed.

"She should be talking soon, right?"

"Probably." She nodded. "I feel like I shouldn't be this excited about it. Wonder what her first word will be."

"Wonder if it's gonna be cute or random."

"We'll see." She hugged them both. "Best family ever." She smiled as she pulled away.

"Mhm, it is." He kissed her, pulling her into a hug. She kissed him back with a tight hug.

"Love you." She mumbled before kissing him again. They both smiled.