We eat dinner in silence. After this Caleb and I do the dishes and then go to bed. When I wake up it is saturday morning. It is bright, sunny, and with a beautiful blue sky to match my eyes. Since today is Saturday Caleb will be with my dad and the other council members and I will be with my mom helping the factionless. I wish we were allowed to stay home alone. But thanks to the council making stupid rules we are not allowed to stay home until after we are married or until after our choosing ceremony .
I do not want to go help the factionless I try to stay away from them as much as possible and most of the time they do not bother me. Sometimes I see them on my way home from school but we mostly ignore each other.
After helping the factionless Mom and I go back home it is almost two o' clock so Dad and Caleb will not be back for at least three hours. By the time Caleb and Dad are home Mom and I have already cleaned the house, made dinner, ate and took showers it was almost nine o' clock by the time they got back home. I guess that Dad had a very busy day at the office Caleb looked wore out and tired. So after they both ate dinner and took showers then we all went to bed.
I wake up at four o'clock a.m. Today is Sunday so I have absolutely nothing to do so instead of sitting at home I go to see my boyfriend Nick. We meet in the towne square at seven thirty a.m. I was really tired so we just sit on the bench next to the gazebo. We sit here for a little while with his arm around me. later this week we will see each other during school but we cannot really talk that much. We usually have to sneak around to talk to each other.
After our visit in the square everyone is still not up in my house I geuss they all just wanted to sleep in instead of being up early on a Sunday. I decide to make breakfast for everyone. We have bacon, eggs, potatoes, and toast. When everone gets up they are very surprised that I have made breakfast for everyone in the house. Once we all eat there is still food left over from breakfast, so Mom and I pack it up and take it over to the factionless shelter. They are all astonished when we show them all of the food we brought. Usually we do not have anywhere near the size of breakfast that we had today. Allof the factionless people are very thankful for all of the food that we brought for them.
We said "Well, what is the sense in just letting it go to waste. We probably were not even going to eat alll of the left over food."
On the way home Mom and I talk about the choosing day. I told her that I was nervous about the choosing day ceremony. I also told her about how I don't think that I belong here and how I don't fit in here.She say that there is nothing to be nervous about it is just choosing what faction you think that you belong in. So I asked her what she thought about her choosing day ceremony. She said that she was nervous to but her mom tells her the same thing. I geuss that kind of made me feel better about the choosing day.
I still am worried about my choosing day because what if I decide to switch factions I do not want to hurt my parents feelings. What if Caleb stays and I go? That would make me feel horrible. Why do we have to make these choices, it would be so much easier if we could just get rid of the factions.What if Caleb and I both leave our parents and they do not come and see us on visiting day. If Caleb and I both switch factions then Mom will probably come see me and Dad will probably go and see Caleb.
Once we get home Caleb and I decide to go for a walk to get some excercise. We go to Marcus's house to see if his son Tobias wants to come out and walk around with us. He says, "yeah." We just walk around and go to the park. There are alot of swings so we decide to play on the swings it is amazing how all of us are teenagers and we are playing on the swings in a park. After a while we decide to play tag at least that is kind of more mature than playing on the swings and tag is alot of fun. After about a few hours at the park we decide to head home it is almost dark so we just go to Tobias' house and ask if Tobias can spend the night because we all walk to school together anyways it would just save a stop on the way to school.
We all eat dinner and since Tobias is over Mom makes a big dinner and tonight it has alot more flavor than usual. I let Caleb and Tobias take showers first so that I can do the dishes after tobias is done he comes out and helps me with the dishes. I say "Thank you." When we finish the dishes it what easier with two people than one. After this I go and take a shower since Caleb is finaaly out of the shower. Tobias will be sleeping on the couch bed.
After my shower I climb into bed and I lay there for about an hour but I just cannot fall asleep. Since everyone else is asleep I decide to sneak down to the living room to see Tobias. Thank goodness he is still awake I did not want to wake him up.
He asks me, "What was wrong?"
I just told him, "I could not sleep."
He told me to come over by him. I did not resist because well, I like him. Sometimes I just wish that Nick was not around so I could just have Tobias. Tobias is so much nicer to me and when I cannot sleep and he is spending the night I can just come downstairs and he tries to comfort me.
I lay down next to him and he puts his arm around me and says ,"It will be alright."
I just say, " I know it will be alright I just have to figure out how to deal with it."
He explains, " After my mother died I was the same way." This made me feel that we like somehow connected and had something in common. This gave some type of hope in between us. After he falls asleep I go back upsatirs to my room and I see that my mom is sitting on my bed. My first thought is that I am in trouble.
