"So what were you doing downstairs with Tobias?" Mom said.
I replied, "We were just talking about why we couldn't sleep and how to deal with it."
"Oh okay, I just thought that maybe something else was going on."
"MOM! Do you really think that I am that immature."
" Sometimes yes, but I can tell that you have a crush on him. So are you guys dating?"
"No, how can you tell I even like him?"
I was hoping that she would not question me too much.
She responds , " Sometimes by the way that you look at him, and other times you can just tell by your face that you are thinking about him."
I was so embarrassed by this I do not even know what to say about it. I can tell that she does not believe my story about us talking about why we cannot sleep.
"Mom, how did you feel when you and Dad met?"
She replied, " I could just tell by the way that he was so kind to people and that he wanted to do something with his life. My parents were part of the council too so ... My family was always going to hhis house for the meetings kind of like we do at Marcus' and tobias' house. I noticed him trying to hide from everyone while we were at his house for the meeting. Then one day we were at school and we brushed past each other and that is basically how we met."
Mom and I sat there and talked about our boy crushes for a while then I fessed up to her and told her about Nick. She told me that she did not know what I should do about it with liking Tobias and all then dating someone else. She and I both know that it is against the rules to have a boyfriend. She suggested that if I really like Tobias that much then I should just break up with Nick and go out with Tobias. After a few hours it is time to go to school, there is just one issue I am so tired I keep falling asleep at breakfast so I fake sick and go to the bathroom and act like I am throwing up. Thank goodness Mom did not have any plans today. Dad has to go to work so I just stay home from school and Mom is okay with it.
This gives me and her time to talk because we don't want anyone to know about it because it is against the rules to have a boyfriend because it is self induring. My mom is concerned for me but I do not want to be like this if I were in dauntless i would not have this problem. I hate it here and this is keeping me from what I want to do with my life. Well tomorrow is Tobias' choosing day.For some odd reason I hope that he stays here in Abnegation but, I cannot stop him from leaving. It is his choice. But tomorrow is Nick's choosing day too. i do not know what I want him to pick in a way I hope he chooses Dauntless. So that if he goes to jump off the train and misses the ledge. I know this is horrible to say about him he is a nice guy. But I am in love with someone else but that person does not know I like him.
