Sanders Sides One-shots (and maybe multiple part stories, I dunno)

Will you Hold me? | Roceit

I'm feeling the need to be cuddled so I'm doing some hurt comfort with Roman and Janus cause they're a few of my comfort characters. Here we go!

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His sword fell to the ground with a loud clang. He flopped down on his bed and grunted as he made contact with the mattress. He ran his fingertips over the rips in his clothes and the purple bruises littering his skin. He felt a lump rise in his throat and he tried to swallow it down as he felt tears prick at his eyes. His throat felt dry and he felt the air sting his eyes. He blinked. Took a deep breath. Once again tried to swallow the parched feeling in his throat. Nothing worked. He just layed there and closed his eyes, allowing the tears to slowly fall down his face, over his nose and onto his sheets.

"Roman, darling?" Janus called slipping into his room. He found it odd that the princely figure's lights were off but he didn't question it and left them off for the time being. 

"Go away." Roman responded, he voice weak and raspy. He coughed and turned, burying his face in his pillows. The deceitful side placed himself down on the bed beside Roman and rested a hand on his face, grabbing his chin and turning his head to him.

"What happened?" Janus asked, rubbing his cheek with his thumb.

"Oh nothing, obviously." Roman answered with a slight eyeroll.

"Oh yes I can tell, you definitely look ravishing right now." Janus poked a lie into his words. Roman knew he looked like hot garbage. And he knew that Janus could tell as well.

"Have you been taking care of yourself?" He asked. Roman shook his head slightly. Janus frowned. 

"And why not?" Janus asked in an almost demanding tone. Roman closed his eyes and leaned his head against Janus' hand. He let out incoherent mumbles, not wanting to tell him the truth.

"Oh please continue to keep your secrets Roman. Because I'm definitely not worried about you or anything." Janus said, exasperated. The prince sighed.

"I got in a fight."

"With who?"

"Remus. Again. And before you say anything, he started it!" 

Janus just hummed in response. He ran his gloved hand through Roman's hair and he laid lax against it, feeling calmed by the presence of someone so serene. 

They sat in silence for a good while. Janus stroking Roman's hair, the prince slowly feeling more and more relaxed by the second. It felt nice to have someone else sit with him in the silence so he didn't have to ponder his thoughts alone. It felt good to have him there and have him to comfort him and let him know that things would be okay in the long run.

It made him feel secure.

But after so long, dark thoughts crept up on him. They seeped into the seams of his brain and wreaked havoc on his imagination. He saw shadows and grim images. Blood and pain. Fear and sorrow. He squirmed in place, his face twisting into a grimace. He thought of Remus. He thought of their fight earlier. He let a sad whimper escape him. He felt Janus' hand against his head pull away and his eyes shot open.

"Roman?"

"It hurts." He replied, tears perking up in the corners of his eyes.

"What does darling? Speak to me." He urged, shifting to sit between Roman's legs and cupping his face.

Roman felt the tears fall down his cheeks and he felt Janus' hands move to wipe them away softly.

"Fighting. With the others. Even if it is Remus. Even if I say I hate them or I say I don't care. I do. I care so much. I feel like people don't see that when I put on my happy face. When I smile for the camera. For everyone. It slips past them all. Except you. You always see it. You see right past my lies and my acting. You can always tell when I'm upset. They can't. They can never tell when they've crossed too far and I fear that's my fault." Roman looked up at Janus, looking into his deep, sorrowful eyes.

"I hate fighting with people. But someone always picks a fight with me. I'm always doing something wrong. And I can never tell what it is. But I wish I could fix it. You can tell me can't you? What I'm supposed to fix so I can stop disappointing the people I care about?" Roman asked, gripping onto Janus' arms and sitting up, tears streaming down his face.

Janus appeared distraught. He wiped the tears from Roman's face as quickly as he could before more replaced them.

"No one's perfect by society's standards. But Roman, you're perfect by ours. It may not seem like it all the time but it's true. Everyone gets in quarrels every once in a while. It's normal. There's nothing you should change about yourself. If you changed to become perfect you wouldn't be you anymore. You wouldn't be our Roman. You wouldn't be my Roman."

Roman sniffled at Janus' words.

"Really? You really think that in with all the mistakes I've made and all the pain I've been through and caused that I'm perfect?" Roman asked, bewildered.

"Would I lie to you Roman?"

"That seems like a definite yes Janus. You've lied to me before so-" Janus silenced Roman with his finger.

"That was then. We're in the now. Roman you're perfect. You won't change my mind." Janus said, cradling the prince's face in his hands.

Roman let himself lean into the deceitful side's hold, easing up once again.

"Thank you." Roman mumbled, looking down sadly.

"Of course darling." Janus responded, moving his hand to run through Roman's hair soothingly.

They once again sat in silence as Roman became more and more tranquil under Janus' touch. Roman's head in Janus' hands. All that could be heard was the steady sound of their breathing.

They sat in this silence for a good while.

Then came a quiet mumble.

"Janus. Will you hold me..?"

"Til the end of my days if you wanted me to, my Prince."

Janus hugged Roman close, feeling his face press against his chest. Janus let a soft smile creep it's way onto his face.

"I will hold you and tell you the things you want and need to hear."

Roman hummed in affirmation.

"Everyone loves you for you. You are perfect. You are wanted. Who cares if you get in a few fights. That doesn't make you any less loveable. There's nothing that needs to be changed about you. You can't fix the perfection that you already are."

Roman smiled against Janus' chest.

"I love you, Janus."

Janus just smiled before replying.

"I love you too, Roman Sanders."

The two snuggled until Roman fell asleep in Janus' hold, the two finding peace in the sound of each other's heartbeats.