Random thoughts (ONE SHOTS/ENCOUNTERS)

Once Upon A Time

Mga ilang oras na din ako naka higa pero hindi ako makatulog sa 'di malaman na dahilan. I kept on moving to find a comfortable position to sleep. I tried closing my eyes and count up to one hundred but i'm still wide awake. Drops of heavy rain can be heard through the wooden roof on top of me. Pipikit na sana ako when a loud thunder crashed na parang nasa gilid lang ng akin bintana.

"Jusko naman!" Inis kong sambit as I closed my eyes and covered myself with the soft and smooth white blanket on top of this red velvet bed with a pink pillow below my head.

Tinignan ko ang orasan sa dingding ang it's already quarter to midnight. Muli kong tinignan ang paligid sa aking kwarto. Hanggang ngayon wala pa rin nagbago. From its wooden roof and wooden floor, the walls we're pink. Traces of Princesses and castles I drew when I was young we're still visible. Nawawala na nga lang kaunti-unti yung kulay ng iba. 

A sound of thunder once again echoed inside my room. Kainis.

Napatayo nalang ako at inayos ang aking buhok bago naisipan na lumabas. Sa aking paglabas ay nakasalubong ko ang mas malamig na hangin kumpara sa loob. I mean i'm walking with my barefoot so I guess it makes sense. Sinarado ko sa likod ang pinto bago nagsimulang maglakad. Nakakasawa tignan ang bahay. Most of the things inside are made of wood.

The house that once felt warm and safe unexpectedly became cold and dangerous in my mind. Maliit ang bahay kaya't the living room, kitchen, comfort room, and the doors of the room are visible in one place. The same arrangements but different feeling.

But there was one place na hindi ako pinapasok nina mama at papa. Including lola when I was little. Sa kwarto nila lolo. I never was allowed to get in with out any of them. Ang alam ko lang, may tinatagong basement doon.

Pero laging nage-encourage sakin noon si lolo na paglaki ko ay puwede na akong pumasok doon. 

Kung hindi nga lang sana nasira yung relasyon bilang pamilya. If only there was no manipulation and abuse, things could've been different for me. For us.

I stopped myself from the temptation for the longest time, just standing. But I found my feet going infront of their room's door. This was where my lolo writes his stories for me. It was already locked a long time ago.

Ever since they we're dead. Even since they we're all dead.

Not minding the heavy pour of the rain and the sound and light of the thunder. It's like it's hypnotizing me to go inside. Kasabay ng pagtapak papalapit ko sa kahoy na sahig sa harap ng naka-lock na pintuan ay ang pag-kulog ng malakas. Nag-dadalawang isip kung hahawakan ang kahoy na busol when a sound of click from the inside suddenly made the door open with its creaking sound. Without any second thought, I went inside.

Gaya lang ng inaasahan ko, ito'y occupied lang ng mga gamit nila noon. A bed, mirror, and closet. The only thing that I liked here was that there is a bookshelf as tall as me with a lot of written books my grandfather made. Hindi na ako nagulat na may lampshade na nakapatong sa kanilang mini table katabi ng higaan. 

Only flashes of light of the thunder from their window was the source of my vision to see what's around. I tried turning on the light pero mukhang sira ang switch nito.