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june 1st, 2019
dear yoongi,
my heart has been heavy since i was in grade 7. something in me changed then, i clearly don't know what. i never thought i would ever mention it in this diary. ̶w̶h̶e̶n ̶I ̶w̶a̶s ̶s̶m̶a̶l̶l leave it, i decided not to mention those past dark memories in this diary, for what i can write is that i have felt heavy for a very long time. but now i feel like i can't take this burden anymore. my lips couldn't bring themselves to be curled into a smile. everytime someone askswhy i am sad. i don't have an answer because i myself don't know either. maybe i'm upset for no reason.
i never cared how i looked my entire life but nowadays when i look in the mirror, i feel ugly. i don't feel comfortable under my own skin. sometimes i wish to disappear from the face of earth, to be honest not sometimes but very often. or i wish i wasn't me. i just don't seem to understand myself. i don't trust myself. i don't even know if i should be feeling what i'm feeling right now.
i don't even know if i'm being sincere right now. i just…
does someone like me deserve to admire someone like you?
