Without Him [Victuuri Fanfic]

Chapter 7

I grabbed everything I needed on the way to the bathroom, including a clean towel, robe, shampoo, and bubble bath product.

Although Victor and I had been together in the hot springs on multiple occasions, this setting was much more intimate. The bubbles would offer some privacy, but besides that, who didn't love bubbles?

After Victor entered the bathroom from behind me, I closed the door, ran the bath, and poured some bubble solution into the water.

"Is that..." Victor began, and I whipped my head around to see him fixated on the bottle in my hand. "Are those bubbles?" He asked, the ghost of an amused grin pulling slightly at his soft lips.

He was trying to smile. It wasn't perfect, but it was progress.

"Yes, are you complaining?" I retorted, twisting the lid closed. He shook his head, another smirk threatening the corner of his mouth. If only I could get him to fully smile. "That's what I thought."

Once the foam of bubbles that floated atop the water reach the top of the tub, I turned the faucet off. I turned around to tell Victor it was ready, but he was already removing his shirt. He began to unbutton his pants, but caught me staring at his body for just a little too long.

I couldn't help it.

"Turn around, you little pervert," he said, chuckling very lightly as I did. I didn't really understand, he had always been very... bold in the hot springs. It wasn't like I would be seeing anything new, but if that was what he wanted, I would obey. Once he had settled into the water, I turned around and sat beside the bath tub to accompany him.

"How does the water feel?" I asked, hoping it was the right temperature. Only his shoulders and head were exposed, so I prayed that it mimicked the hot springs.

"It's perfect," he replied, playing with the bubbles that topped the water. "Thank you," he continued, turning his attention to me for a moment. I only shook my head — he didn't need to thank me.

I watched in amusement as he played with the bubbles like a child, scooping them up into his hands and blowing them away. He looked happy.

"What are you looking at?" He asked, bringing me out of my trance. I guess I had been staring... again. I shook my head, bringing my chin off of my arms that I hadn't realized had become folded on the edge of the tub.

"Let me wash your hair," I said, standing up and grabbing the bottle of shampoo I had brought. He didn't protest, I knew he loved it when I touched his hair. Sitting back down beside the tub, I emptied some of the bottle into my hand. "Get your hair wet."

He did as I said, dipping all but his face back into the water. He had to scoot forward to do so, and I tried not to watch as his knees and thighs became exposed. Once he had lifted himself back up, I spread the shampoo into his hair, lathering and massaging it down to his scalp. He closed his eyes and let me do as I pleased.

I didn't stop once the shampoo was evenly spread — I continued to massage his scalp. A quiet, deep groan emitted from his chest told me that he was enjoying it.

I continued to massage as I rinsed the shampoo out, using a cup to help. Once I was finished, Victor laid his head back on the edge of the tub, fully relaxed. It was exactly what I was hoping for.

"You know... my mom used to always make me bubble baths," he said, keeping his head back and eyes closed. To my utter surprise, there was a smile on his lips. It was the first time I saw him talk about his mother without crying.

"Tell me more about your mom," I said, hoping it would bring him more joy. Besides, I was genuinely curious. He opened his eyes for a moment to look at me, almost as if he were asking a question. "What's her favorite color?" I asked, starting off simple. He closed his eyes again.

"Lilac. She always said lilac because it reminded her of her favorite flower, the crocus," he replied, still perfectly content. "We always had a bunch of them planted around the house, and she even had names for all of them." He chuckled at the last part.

I couldn't help but laugh with him. His smile and laughter were always so contagious.

I grabbed his hand that had been resting on the side of the tub, brushing off the bubbles so that I could kiss his knuckles. "Tell me more," I pleaded, causing an even wider grin to spread across his face. He spread his narrow fingers apart, begging me to entwine them with mine, to which I gladly obliged.

Victor talked about his mother until the water grew cold, and not once did he shed a tear. He was happy. I wrapped a towel around his waist as he stood from the tub, and as soon as he was out, he pulled me to his chest.

"Victor!" I squirmed, "you're wet!" I felt a deep chuckle radiate through his chest. He cradled my head into the crook of his neck, and I gave up on fighting against him. Instead, I leaned into his warmth and wrapped my arms around his torso. My heart fluttered as he pressed a kiss into my hair.

"Thank you, Yuri," he murmured, his lips just above my ear. I looked up at him, migrating one of my hands to his chest.

"For what?" I asked, my cheeks becoming hot. I guess I had been so caught up in taking care of him that I forgot who he was. He was the man who made me question my sexuality, the man who loved me unconditionally, and the reason I had a career. Shouldn't I be thanking him?

"For everything," he replied with a grin. The butterflies in my stomach fluttered once again as he pressed a delicate kiss to my forehead, and another to the tip of my nose. I watched his passionate eyes drift down to my lips for a moment, but he didn't give in to the temptation.

Part of me wished that he did.

—

Whether from jet lag or from a general lack of rest, Victor laid on my bed to relax and fell asleep within minutes. I sat on the bed next to him to keep him company, giggling at the way he cuddled my blankets.

I knew he would be upset if he woke up to an empty room.

I had turned the lights off to aid in his rest, hoping he wouldn't awake. Sunlight still came through the window across from the bed, but I thought it would help. He needed it more than anything.

But of course, all good things must come to an end.

"Yu... ri?..." asked the feeble voice from beside me. Victor was still clutching his pillow tightly, inspecting the sheets beneath him. "Yuri?" He began to feel around until he grabbed my thigh, and stopped.

I thought it was funny at first, but once I actually looked at his face, I became concerned.

"Hey, Vicc, I'm right here," I grabbed the hand that was clutching my thigh. It wasn't that I didn't like him grabbing my thigh, I definitely didn't mind, but he looked so disoriented. "It's okay, I'm here."

His hand tightened around mine, and he swung his other arm around to hug my waist. I pulled him closer to my body.

"Bad dream?" I asked, rubbing small circles into his back. He shook his head, his forehead pressed into my chest.

"Good dream..." he retorted, slipping his hand out of mine to wrap it around my torso. "But it can't come true." The pain in his voice explained everything.

It was about his mom.

I cradled his head closer to my body, and he snuggled up as close as he could physically get. He lifted his head so that his lips were just an inch from my throat, but he hesitated.

"I'm sorry, it just... it felt so real..." he murmured, resting his head in the nook between my shoulder and neck.

"Are you gonna be okay?" I asked, pressing a kiss into his hair.

"Yeah... I think so..." he replied, his voice still frail. My heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

I wanted my Victor back, but I was afraid he was nowhere to be found. I wanted to see him smile and laugh as he had just hours earlier. I wanted the daring, bold Victor that loved making me flustered.

I did everything I could to revive him, but I couldn't bring his mother back to life. My Victor, as much as I loved him, would always have a missing piece.

The only thing I could do was glue him back together, and wait for him to break again.