Letting Go { Jung Jaehyun Series }

Chapter 9 { Finale }

Three years later at a farm in rural Connecticut

"Here, like this," Jaehyun said as he swept the curry brush along the side of the chestnut-colored horse. Then, he took the young girl's hand and placed the curry brush in it. She repeated the action as Jaehyun had shown her. The blond child's usual stiffness disappeared as she stroked the horse with the brush. After several minutes of brushing the horse all over his glossy body, the girl set down the brush and lay her blond curls against the horse's side. Her cheek was pressed against the horse's sleek coat as she felt her head rising and falling with each breath of the giant animal.

"Did you know that horses will listen to you talking to them, and in their own way, they understand what you are saying?" said Jaehyun softly. "They helped me a lot when I got in an accident. I was so sad and angry, and they listened to me and helped me process," he added.

The little girl nodded gravely. As a long-term ward of the foster care system, she was well-acquainted with sadness and anger. Her birth parents, both opioid addicts, were deemed unfit to take care of her shortly after her first birthday. As she stared into the depths of the horse's chocolate-brown eyes, she felt a certain empathy emanating from him.

"What's his name?" asked the girl.

"His name is Cedar because he has that reddish-brown color of cedar wood," answered Jaehyun quietly.

"Hi, Cedar," the girl directed her speech toward the horse. "I'm Jessica. I'm 7 years old and I don't remember my mom and dad," she said, watching Cedar to get any sense of his response to her revelation.

Cedar blinked calmly. Jessica listened to his steady breathing and watched as his nostrils flared with each breath.

Jessica turned to Jaehyun and asked, "Do you think Cedar remembers his mom and dad?"

"Maybe not," admitted Jaehyun. "He was separated from them when he was just a colt."

"Like me," remarked Jessica, finding a way to externalize her experience, thus making it more manageable. "It sucks, doesn't it, Cedar?" she asked, feeling empathy for the large creature, and sensing his empathy for her as well.

Meanwhile, Rosa was outside in the corral guiding a large, white horse with a lead line. A large man stood beside her, watching the process carefully. His straw- colored hair was long and unkempt, and he wore a sleeveless T-shirt which left his heavily tattooed arms in full view. He wore a worn ball cap that advertised his membership in the local Eagle's chapter, where he had previously spent most of his time, drinking and reminiscing with his Golf War buddies. It was through one of those buddies that he had become aware of the Equine-assisted Therapy program at the Good Neigh-bors Farm. After returning from the fighting in Iraq, Joe had been diagnosed with PTSD. He had lost his wife and children due to his erratic behavior. Having reached rock bottom, he decided to try the program in the hopes of getting his life back on track. Now, as he watched the golden-skinned woman leading a beast several times her size, he felt that the act signified both power and submission for both Rosa and Star Dust. They each listened to each other and formed a cooperative bond that was a win-win scenario.

Rosa placed the lead line in Joe's left hand with a few instructions. "Always lead a horse from it's left side," she said. "First we have to get Star Dust to yield her hindquarters. She's not used to you. So, this will be a process of mutual trust-building." Rosa handed Joe the dressage whip to hold in his right hand. "Here, take the whip," she instructed.

Joe took a step back. "No, I don't want to whip her," he said, holding the short semi-rigid rod loosely, as if wanting to let it drop to the ground.

"No worries," said Rosa gently. "We're not going to hurt her. You never use the whip as a punishment. It's only used to gently tap the horse, never to beat it. When used correctly, a dressage whip causes the horse no pain, I assure you."

Joe nodded gravely. He tapped gently on Star Dust's left ankle as he had seen Rosa do previously. The majestic white horse kicked behind herself, causing Joe to jump and drop the whip.

"Did she startle you?" asked Rosa kindly.

"Yeah, just a little," Joe replied adjusting his ball cap just to have something to do with his hands.

Rosa picked up the dressage whip and placed it carefully back into Joe's right hand. "There's no need to be afraid. Star Dust can feel your fear. Just take a few deep breaths and remember that she wants to trust you. You just have to show her that you are confident and can lead her."

"OK," breathed Joe. "Confident," he repeated. Then, turning his attention to Star Dust, he said, "OK, girl, let's work together now." He tapped her ankle again, and this time, Star Dust moved her left leg forward.

"You did it!" cheered Rosa. "That's exactly what we want to see."

Joe graced Rosa with the first sincere smile she had even seen him give. She patted his shoulder gently and said, "You've got what it takes."

Later that evening, as Rosa and Jaehyun prepared for bed, they took the extra decorative pillows from the large bed with the oak frame. Rosa turned down the sheets and the light Amish-made quilt.

"Did you work with Henry today?" she asked Jaehyun as he slipped under the smooth, soft sheets.

"Yeah, he did great. You should have seen him up on Lemon Drop, just giggling and having the time of his life," replied Jaehyun.

"Was his mom still a nervous wreck?"

"No, she was better than last week. I think she's starting to trust that Lemon Drop isn't going to charge out of the gate like a rodeo bull. It's hard for her to let Henry do things on his own. She's so used to doing everything for him because of his Cerebral Palsy," commented Jaehyun.

Rosa patted a calming face serum on her tanned face and then slipped into bed beside Jaehyun. She rested her head on his strong chest and breathed in the scent of him --- clean and masculine.

"Who would have thought you would go from being a K-pop idol to running a therapeutic horse farm?" remarked Rosa. "It's been quite a journey."

"Yeah, it nearly broke me when I realized that my injuries would never let me return to NCT. I was in such a dark place. I felt like my life was over because I had placed my whole identity in my job as an idol."

"Well, you know I've been coming to the conclusion that you should never put your identity in something you can lose," Rosa commented sagely.

"When did you get to be so smart?" Jaehyun teased as he rolled over and began to tickle Rosa's smooth belly.

"Stop!" she squealed in delight, despite her outward protestations. "If you don't stop, I'm gonna do the thing!" she warned.

"I dare you to try!" countered Jaehyun, taking her by the wrists to hold her back from tickling him on the sensitive spot behind his right ear.

"You can't stop me," Rosa declared before freeing her wrists by giving them a sharp twist that released them from Jaehyun's grasp. Her fingers immediately found the magic spot and tickled it until Jaehyun writhed wildly.

Jaehyun's eyes snapped with passion as he pulled Rosa on top of him. He kissed her passionately, tugging firmly on her hips, rocking them against himself. "Are you gonna do that thing I like?" he asked desperately.

"You know it," Rosa whispered in his ear.

"Oh, hell, yes!" he sighed as he found her warm mouth again.