possession || eremika/jeankasa (completed)

loathing

eren was infatuated with mikasa. he was completely besotted. she was truly excellent — like art. a well defined body, alluring eyes, slick and full hair, soft skin. her voice was delicate, yet resounding and strong. she resembled her mother, a beautiful and frail japanese woman. she had her father's kind heart.

she wore a rose quartz crystal wrapped in copper wire on her ring finger. it was for compassion, forgiveness, and love. it was so powerful because it was worn close to the heart and heart chakra, she'd told him. he thought it was precious. she was passionate about it.

mikasa always had this on, along with a small golden necklace that held a saphire gem. her nails were always painted a dark shade of red. it contrasted her skin beautifully and matched the scarf eren had bought her for christmas when they were children. she loved black cherry scented candles and dragon breath incense — had a little tree statue that she lit them on. she always smelled of sugar and spice. earthly, natural. beautiful. 

she adored poetry. sylvia plath, oscar wilde, shakespeare. she'd ripped pages out of books and taped them to her walls.  she'd write sonnets in the notes of her phone every night before she fell asleep.

her favorite color was burgendy. she loved hot earl grey tea and vanilla wafers. she liked to observe, not interact. an introvert with a perceptive eye. she was loved, but hardly known. mikasa let very few people inside of her personal life. she was quiet, reserved. reticent. 

shy, but loving. she was kind and compassionate towards everyone.

eren knew every detail about her. she had a mole on her lower back, a birthmark on her hip, a scar under her eyebrow. it was faint and could only been noticed when she squinted. her nails were always bitten short. she hated being poked or tickled, but loved having her back rubbed.

the idea of jean's hands on mikasa's body nauseated eren. he was loathsome. jealous. throughout their entire friendship, mikasa had never had any type of relationship with another person. not romantically, not sexually.

eren did consider mikasa his, not jean's, or anyone elses. she was his - but this did not make his envy and resentment towards jean dissipate.

a mental wound caused by his own immaturity.

after mikasa had gone home, eren laid in silence, overwhelmed with his own thoughts. in hours, he'd have to face jean. the three worked together in a small restaurant. eren, a cook. jean, a host. and mikasa, a server. convenient, isn't it?

to eren's misfortune, all three would be working a shift together that night. eren did not get to socialize with mikasa during work. they rarely saw each other, and when they did, she was hurriedly grabbing trays from him to deliver to customers. they occasionally exchanged smiles and a simple "how's it going?"

jean, on the other hand, had plently of free time during his shift. he normally spent the majority of it following around mikasa like a lost puppy, or pressuring armin to cover his later shifts.

mikasa did not disclose the conversation that took place between her and jean. eren had many unanswered questions for her that he never bothered to ask.

are you going to be friends?

does he hate you?

does he want to have a relationship with you?

do you want him in your life? are you upset that i don't like that?

do you have feelings for him?

do you love me, mikasa?

do i even love you?

eren adored her, but he was truly and deeply confused.

mikasa was not one to sleep around. she'd explained to eren before that exploring sexually was something strictly romantic and love related to her. he knew jean had been admiring her for a long time. he felt discontent with his thoughts, but he knew mikasa must have been interested in jean before they had sex. loosely speaking, she was not eren's girlfriend. she was not restrained to him or any of his boundaries. he wasn't even entirely sure if jean would give up so easily. what if he was determimed? set on being with her? the idea of fighting for her wasn't formidable. he would do and sacrifice anything for her, although sometimes he questioned if it was truly worth fighting for.

mikasa was one of a kind. to be loved by her, touched by her, was heavenly. divine, even. 

it exasperated him to think about jean. he was piqued by his face, his voice, his existence.

fucking jean, that horse, he thought to himself, rolling onto his stomach. he dug his face into his pillow angrily.

he promised himself he would not behave unreasonably. no being irrational, no fighting. eren did not even want to speak to the boy.

but the idea of jean being close to mikasa made his blood boil, it inflamed his heart.

eren would try his best to behave, for mikasa.

and for his job, of course.

he laid in bed, questioning himself and his feelings.

do i truly love you, mikasa?

--

hey !! been very busy so im sorry for this short chapter! sort of a filler.  the next one will be MUCH longer and much more eventful. should be out in a day or two:) i wanted to mix it up and have more eren content/thoughts, etc. hope u enjoyed

ty<3<3