possession || eremika/jeankasa (completed)

the other way.. (an alternative ending)

mikasa was filled with regret about the previous night, and she wasn't confident it could be mended. she was angry. betrayed.

guilty.

she was sure eren felt the same, too.

"i'm sorry mikasa," eren mumbled, pulling the blanket over his head. "i'm sorry i lied to you. i just didn't want to hurt you.. you didn't have to go to jean."

she stood in the doorway of his dark room, crossing her arms as she held back tears.

she decided not to tell the boy about what she'd done with jean the night before.

sloppy drunk kisses, tears.

she thought about the taste of blood on his lips, how it lingered in her mouth for hours afterwards. the smell of his cheap cologne. jean.

"do you know how hard it was to see him holding you?" he asked.

"no.." she whispered, staring at the ground below her. she avoided his eyes. "no.. i dont know.. but that doesn't give you the right to attack him. you hurt me, and then you misunderstood the situation."

"did i?"

she froze, thinking to herself.

did you?

she wasn't sure herself. her feelings were scrambled.

"you did."

he sat up, shaking his head. he gestured her to sit.

she sat on the edge of his bed, facing away from him.

"you can't even look at me?" he fretted.

she gulped, turning to meet his eyes.

"i'm sorry," she muttered. "i really am."

"you are? why?"

she paused. "i dont know."

"i love you mikasa."

she could feel her mascara from the night before begin to run. "i know.."

he was hurt, she could see it on his face.

"you didn't say it back."

"i know."

"why, mikasa?"

i'm so sorry.

"i took him home with me last night, eren."

there was a tense silence between the two.

"you took him home with you?" he trembled. his voice cracked.

she nodded.

"d-did you -"

"no," she interrupted. "we didn't have sex. he didn't even stay the night.. i hurt him too, you know?"

the pair sat quietly for awhile longer, listening to the sound of one another breathe.

maybe she should leave. maybe it would be for the best. she wondered where she wanted to be in five years.

she wanted to be happy. whole.

she wanted to wake up in the arms of someone she adored.

"i have to leave, eren."

"okay.. when can you come back over?"

she gulped.

"i won't be coming back over."

he took a deep breath, and nodded in understanding. "you choose jean?"

"no, eren."

he looked up with hope in his eyes. "but.."

"i have to get out of here. like i always talked about when we were younger." she stood up, stumbling out the door as quickly as she could. she had to avoid his eyes. his tears. his pleads. "it's time for me to go."

--------

five years later

mikasa sipped a mug of hot tea, skimming through the words of her novel. snow fell against the pavement outside of the small cafe.

it had been five years since she saw eren, or jean. she ran that night, and she never turned back. guilt overwhelmed her.

her hair was shorter now. her skin was still pale, sprinkled with freckles. she wore a red knitted scarf around her neck- a gift she never let go of.

she stood up, collecting her things before walking outside.

the wind was cold. it pierced her skin and stole the scarf from around her neck. it floated through the air.

she gasped, turning to chase after it, but bumped directly into the chest of someone in her way. she hadnt even noticed them. she fell to the ground, snow soaking through her pants and freezing her skin.

she looked up in confusion, finding her scarf in the hands of the person in front of her. "o-oh! thank yo-" she began, as she met the eyes of the man who caught her prized possession.

familiar eyes, a warm smile, tan skin.

eren.

"hi mikasa," he smiled, reaching a hand down to pull her up to him. his hair was longer, pulled back into a loose bun. a tattoo peaked through the collar of his shirt. he looked gorgeous. "look at you."

"hi.."

he laughed, "don't be so shy. i'm still the same eren i was five years ago.. well.. not really. but i'm still eren."

"w-what are you doing here?"

snow fell gently on his hair. "work transferred me. when i learned where i'd be going, i got relocated here as soon as possible," he paused. "i was hoping i'd find you, mikasa.."

"m-me?"

he nodded. "of course.."

he frowned, his face becoming saddened. "i never got to say goodbye, you know? i never got to tell you what i wanted to tell you.."

she gulped. "i'm sorry.. eren..."

"dont be sorry, mika. i was always proud of you for going and finding yourself. i just wish i could've been there from the start."

she smiled faintly, wrapping her scarf around her neck.

five years. five years, and he still came looking for me?

"i'm.. i'm glad you're here. i still think about you all the time, eren.." she mumbled, looking at him with doe-eyes. "i never stopped.. honestly, i always loved you."

he studied her face.

"i still do," she added.

"you do?"

she nodded.

"i do."