Diary of The Members of The Darkness Collective

This trip showed me so much. [🌀]

[🌀]

Greetings. My name is Abyss Villeneuve. I am both the System's last line of defense before complete shutdown and I am also an Alter of Protector status.

I am also one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse; the Horseman of War.

I am female, I do not have an age that is comprehensive, and my pronouns are she/her/they. Or they're whatever I desire them to be.

I may come off as cold, unfeeling and even my presence may invoke fear, but even still; caution is to be used in my presence unless I am able to fully trust you.

⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱

Being someone of my status is not easy. Being the Horseman of War and knowing that one of my own exists within my Host's Boyfriend's System as well gives me conflicted feelings I am not acclimated to.

Abraham; my fellow Horseman who is Death himself, gives me assurance that he and I shouldn’t feel so, but at the same time I cannot help myself.

He may love Alisibeth, but I remember when he loved me.

When he would hold me and embrace me in warm, carnal passion that I never knew would be possible for me to feel.

When he would kiss me and speak to me so happily and softly, running his soft yet calloused fingers through my hair.

I miss such feelings, yet I know it can never be again. Molloch himself would only tear us apart again, and I wish to avoid that. I also do not wish to hurt Alisibeth by trying to reclaim the man who yet still holds a piece of my heart.

As him and I spoke with one another on this trip, we saw many horses that we wished to help. They were in such awful condition on the farm they resided, and one mare completely broke our hearts upon seeing her.

Her hooves were unkept, chipped and cracked, her eyes were clouded and spoke of suffering, and she was so thin you could feel her bones when you ran your hand over her hide.

It took a lot of courage for us to regretfully pull back from her after reassuring her that her suffering would soon be over.

Abraham knew he would meet her first before I would, but when I do get to meet that mare; I'm sure she will choose someone to care for her.

Whether it be Abraham and I's son Eros or Alisibeth and his children Persephone and Thanatos, I know that she will be very well cared for.

Either way, I hope that I can see her grow happily with whoever she chooses... Even if Abraham and I cannot watch it together like I wish we could.

Is it... Taboo to admit that I still love him...?

Because I still love Abraham with all my heart... And seeing him with another wounds me more than any blade created in my name.

Without him, I would be nothing; but by the same token, without me, Famine and Plague, he would be nothing as well.

Why must I care so much for him while his heart is given to another?

I suppose it's just a curse I must bear for all of Time, given by Molloch's will.

⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱

[🌀]