Diary of The Members of The Darkness Collective

Words of a Manipulator; The Damage its Done to Us. [❣]

[💜]

"𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥'𝕤 𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕜𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕚𝕟𝕤𝕚𝕕𝕖, 𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕙𝕒𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕕 𝕚𝕥 𝕕𝕚𝕕𝕟'𝕥?"

This... Is hard for me to share, but this question came from a Tiktok I watched on Youtube...

My other Alters might answer this, but I dunno... If they do, it'll be on this chapter.

Trigger Warning: Heavy venting and topics of Trauma is to be discussed, and lots of Swearing as well as Self Harm and Attempts of Suicide will be mentioned. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱

I have... Quite a few of these sentences from a lot of people in my life who I thought I could love and put my trust into, but if I had to choose just one of them...

I suppose my "favourite" of all time was when I was in court with my abusive Stepfather...

As a few of my followers and close friends know: I've been beaten since 6 years old, I've been verbally abused, I've been emotionally manipulated, I've been accused of lying and stealing since I was 10 years old, and I was also raped and molested at 15 years old until I was about 17.

At least, that's the very short summary version of my life.

And guess who all of that shit was from?

That's right, my piece of shit Stepfather.

He did all of that and then some; not counting all the times he grabbed me by my neck and slammed me into the wall, or smacked the back of my head with as many objects he could find; be it his hand or a hardcover math book. No big deal though, cause that's when Michael Myers showed up! My first Fictive Alter in my life!~♡ How special!~♡♡

Or counting the time he refused to give 8 year old me a birthday party for something I don't remember doing. But it was no big deal, cause my Alters and I at the time; so basically Cathrene, Fellia, Boris, Michael and Pamela, had our own little birthday party for me in my head. Best godsdamn cake in my life, and that shit wasn't even real.

Or when he held me against the sink with my voicebox in between his thumb and forefinger while threatening that if I ever spoke badly of him again; he would pinch me right where his fingers were and I would never be able to speak again. BUT HEY, WHO FUCKING CARES?! IT'S JUST TICCI TOBY AND JASON DEAN WHO FINALIZED THERE, NO BIG FUCKING DEAL!!

ANYWAYS, got off track there and kinda lost it for a second... Sorry. But, I figured context was needed for the rest of you who didn't know. Sorry again for getting mad over it all. Thought I'd be over it by now.

Jeez, I really don't know when to let go, haha. I must be a Psychopath, right Heather?!