Till Death Do Us Part?

chapter 1

Dear Hazza,

4 years.

It has been 4 fucking years already.

I had to spend all this time alone, without you by my side. 

To this day I still can't believe I lost you.

I still can't believe I can't hear your voice from when we wake up too when we fall asleep again.

I still can't believe I can't hold your warm, soft hands anymore.

I still can't believe I can't look in those beautiful green eyes of you anymore.

The eyes that made me feel warm when I looked in them.

The eyes that made me smile everytime I needed to.

The eyes that made me feel safe whenever I didn't feel okay.

I still can't believe your gone.

It's been 4 fucking years and I still cant get over the fact that when I call you, it goes straight  to voicemail.

The fact that when I come home, nobody is there to run over to me to give me the biggest hug ever and tell me that they missed me even though I would be gone for just a little bit.

I miss your eyes.

I miss your smile.

I miss your beautiful brown curls.

I miss the way you made me feel warm, safe and loved.

I miss you.

Some happy news is, I can finally tell that I'm getting a bit happier again.

I started going out again, with the boys, to party's, a few weeks ago I finally went out of the house for another reason then doing the groceries

I can even say proudly, I met someone.

I met someone Harry.

His name is david.

He is a truly amazing guy.

We even go to the restaurant, that used to be your favorite, every friday.

That was even Davids' idea.

Isn't he a great guy?

I hope you're proud of me Haz, I'm proud of myself for finally feeling happier again.

I finally figured out I have to start over again.

To be happy again.

And I think I am.

I hope that if some way you will read this, know that you are still the one for me Hazza.

You might not be here anymore, you haven't been for 4 whole years, but you will always be the one for me no matter who I meet. 

You will always be the one on my mind whenever I wake up and whenever I go to sleep again.

God, how badly I wanted you to still be with me here today.

I just want to hug you so tightly and never let go.

I want to be able to play with your hair.

I want to be able to look in those beautiful eyes of yours again.

But I simply can't.

I simply loved everything about you.

I loved the way you always smelled nice.

I loved the way you always made me happy if I wasn't feeling well.

I loved the way that, after an argument, you would just hug me and ask if we could go to your favorite restaurant, and ofcourse I would always say yes.

I even loved your bad dad jokes.

I loved you

I still do

to this day.

Dear Harry,

I love you.

Always in my heart, yours sincerely, Lou.

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note: I'm sorry if this story will not be the best written. This is the first ever book I'll write and publish. There also will probably no smut (yea really sad I know cause I love smut but idk how to fucking write it lmao). And also, altough I'm really good at English, it's not my first language so I'm sorry if I make any spelling mistakes:)

If you want to be updated on this book follow me on tiktok: 28ificouldflyhome.

On that account I just post normal things but I will also be updating on this book. Like when I'm writing a new chapter or when I'm gonna publish one or some more like that.

I really hope you'll enjoy this book, cause I'm already having fun writing it.

ps: as the emotional bitch I am, I already almost cried writing this letter. I think I need help.

Not sure though.