The Slytherin Queen

The Lousy Zoo

I should have known it was too good to be true. Since the backseat only had three seats, I was forced to lay across the guys' laps. Piers seemed a little too happy to have me lay across his lap. He kept trying to touch my thighs, but I kept slapping his hand away. Stupid boys and their hormones.

Before we left, I briefly heard Vernon threatening Harry, but I was too busy figuring out how to accidentally push all three Dursleys plus Piers into the shark tank. I wasn't sure if zoos had shark tanks, but worst comes to worst; I just push them in with the hippos or lions. They would surely eat them.

While we were driving, Uncle Vernon was complaining about everything, but the main topic was usually Harry and me. However, the complaint of the day was motorcycles. Why he felt the need to complain about them, I don't know.

"I had a dream about a motorcycle," Harry said suddenly, "It was flying!"

I groaned. Was he stupid? After living with the Dursleys for ten years, he should know that the one thing they hate more than us is anything abnormal, including flying motorcycles.

Uncle Vernon slammed on the brakes causing me to roll off the boys' laps. Dudley laughed, but Piers looked concerned and tried to help me, but I slapped his hand away and lay on the floorboard. I glanced up to see Harry roll his eyes at my stubbornness.

Uncle Vernon whirled around in his seat to yell that motorcycles don't fly. While on the ground, I had a perfect view of his chin and noticed that he had two little gray hairs sticking out of his chin like old ladies have. His face was also red as a tomato.

Silently I disagreed about flying motorcycles. Most don't fly, but it wasn't impossible. It just had to be special.

After all, he had a flying motorcycle, so it had to be possible.

We finally arrived at the zoo, and I felt like kissing the ground because of my back cramps. However, that was mostly my fault because I could have gotten up again, but I didn't want to lay in the boys' laps again. As the boys got out of the car, I moved to follow, but Vernon locked the door, leaving me alone with him.

"I'm warning you, girl, if either of you does anything remotely freakish, you don't want to know what I'll do," Vernon warned. I glared at him from my spot on the floor.

"We have a deal, Vernon. You can't do anything to him," I said. He scowled at me and unlocked the car. I quickly got out to catch up with everyone else. I was honestly surprised he didn't try and leave me in the car, although he was probably worried I'd be spotted in a hot car alone. Can't damage his amazing reputation.

After wandering around the zoo in the heat, we moved to a popsicle stand where a lovely old lady gave the Harry and me lemon pops, much to Dursleys dismay. Vernon looked ready to snatch it out of my hand. We eventually made our way to the reptile cage, but when Petunia and Vernon had their backs to me, I slipped my hand into Vernon's back pocket to grab his wallet and went to the giftshop unnoticed. Hopefully, he wouldn't notice that there was money missing.

Now you may be asking why on Earth would you risk going to the gift shop? Well, Selena and I had a four-year competition to see who could get away with buying each other a gift on holidays. I had started the competition on the first birthday that we had become friends, and she couldn't stand that I was risking my safety. Eventually, she joined the game, except she cheated by stealing the gift instead of paying for it. She claims it got the job done.

I eventually found a snake mood ring, two friendship bracelets for Selena, and a box of marbles for Harry. I didn't usually get Harry a birthday gift, but since it was his eleventh birthday soon and we were family, it seemed like the right thing to do. Not that family really mattered to him.

I walked to the cashier, who seemed like he wanted to be anywhere but here. He rang up my gifts. "That'll be twenty pounds."

I stared at him with disbelief. That price was insane! I contemplated putting one of the gifts back but decided against it. It was Vernon's money anyway. I handed the cashier Vernon's card, and he raised a brow, looking from the card to me before swiping it and giving it back.

I skipped out of the gift shop, happy that I had damaged Vernon's pocket. The Dursleys were scattered around the reptile room but what surprised me was Harry seemed to be talking to a snake. I quickly walked over to stand beside him, hoping no one noticed him.

"- never been, Brazil?" I heard Harry ask. I looked around to make sure no one was looking. Unfortunately, Piers Polkiss was staring at us with wide eyes. I groaned. Piers was a major snitch and would likely tell the Dursleys what happened. I jabbed Harry in the rib, and he turned to glare at me.

"Are you trying to get us killed?" I hissed at him. He rolled his eyes and rubbed his ribs.

"Where have you been?" He whispered, ignoring my question. I turned away, pushing the gifts into my pocket as I heard Piers yell from behind us.

I quickly walked away, not wanting to be anywhere near the Dursleys and company for the remainder of my short freedom. So instead, I went in search of a shark tank. Unfortunately, I couldn't find one, so I searched for a lion which I also didn't see. This was turning out to be a pretty lousy zoo.

I was walking back to the reptile exhibit when I heard Aunt Petunia's shrill scream. Trust me; I would know what that sounds like considering I've been the reason for it multiple times.

I stood shocked to see Dudley and Piers inside the glass cage of the boa constrictor cage. While the boa was slithering around outside its cage. I glanced to see Harry on the ground looking as shocked as me. A laugh bubbles inside me at the thought of Dudley finally being treated like the animal he is.

Vernon turned to glare at me, and I knew I was in for it. This definitely counted as freakish. We quickly left the zoo, and I was back on the boys' laps. Unfortunately, I was struggling to keep in my laughter as Dudley and Piers retold how they were almost eaten, which would probably not help the trouble I would get in when I got home.

And then Piers the rat opened his stupid mouth to ask if Harry was talking to the snake, and all traces of humor was gone. I didn't know what awaited me when I got home, but I knew it would be painful.