𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐇/𝐃/𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐄 2008

Draco Malfoy: Babysitter.

Title: Draco Malfoy: babysitter.
Author/Artist: twistedm
Pairing/Threesome: Harry/Draco pre-slash
Rating: PG
Warnings: Nothin'
Word count: About 2550 words.
Summary: Who made him the head of the Auror department, again?

"Your honor--"

Harry felt a muted tap on his right hand. He assumed his barrister meant it as a reminder to stay silent. If so, it was completely unnecessary.

"--of course I don't want my marriage to end!"

If he'd harbored any last doubt that his wife had lost her ever-loving mind, it had evaporated when she'd chosen to represent herself in their divorce.

"But sir," Ginny paced restlessly in front of Judge Farnham. "Harry doesn't understand the importance of faith." Her triple-layered floating robes began to cascade a distracting pattern of rainbows and hunting centaurs.

"He doesn't understand the beauty of God. He wants me to shackle myself to our home, to be with him and the children.

"But how can you fail to see the necessity of my far reaching travel?" She stopped pacing to cast a searching look at Farnham -- who looked, Harry thought, like he was trying not to react. "I can see the magical, ancient wisdom in your eyes."

Her every choice since then (clothing, speech patterns, celibacy) had only reinforced his new, unpleasant understanding of her.

"I know you will grant me this painful freedom from my beloved husband and three beautiful children in order to travel with Luna Lovegood's group of new age transcendentalist Hindo-Zoroastrian Amphitritian witches and bring our new religion to the deluded, miserable masses.

"Your honor." She paused and looked briefly over one shoulder to glare at Harry, as though his presence was a deterrent to the judge's comprehension. "They need us!"

She sipped at her water and managed to flirt with the ice. Celibacy suited that woman like suntan lotion on a polar bear. Harry was going to miss her in the bedroom. Everywhere else, however...

"I know you will understand that in order to follow my true calling, I must have complete access to all of the resources Harry promised to share with me when we married under the stars! I know you will release me from these false bonds that constrain my true purpose and frustrate my service to the Secret Over-Angel of the Great Deep Lord!"

Ginny bowed deeply, then wafted to her chair like a falling leaf. The judge seemed momentarily caught by an arrow from one of Ginny's galloping centaurs, then called the proceedings over for the day. Harry's barrister promised that things would wrap up soon. Probably tomorrow.

Harry had worked hard to appear the very pinnacle of conservative, normal, and dedicated to his children throughout the proceedings. The strain was starting to get to him. Thankfully, when they met the next morning, Judge Farnham saw things Harry's way and gave him the house, sole custody, and all of their money.

Not that Ginny had brought any money to the marriage anyway.

But Harry wasn't bitter.

For a couple of years, things went acceptably well. He found a good prep school and enrolled all three children. He paid extra for early morning care, and hired a sweet and smart young squib to pick up the rest of the slack. Still, even baby sitters take vacations, get sick and have emergencies, and when he finally got off work he would often have to pick the children up at Arthur and Molly's, or Bill and Fleur's, or George and Pat's. He'd have been absolutely sunk without the Weasley family, and he knew it.