100 reasons to love our lives

Not the end

Nico

I was living a lie and I knew it.

Not that I would complain about the friendships I built; Dean and his strange harem of basketball players, for example. And I definitely wouldn't complain about Will being my roommate.

But there was something else. Someone else, someone who'd need me soon. I could feel that there was an empty space, a dangerous empty space that needed to be cleared soon.

The scary thing was, I wouldn't have found out about the thing I forgot if I wouldn't have gone down to the fields of damnation, trying to find Celine.

There was no Celine Mordare who died the last two weeks, not in the greek afterlife, not in the Christian (where surprisingly no queer people were burned in hellfire), not in any other I had access to.

As I investigated her old home, I didn't find anything that would even show she lived there. No children pictures, no old stuff, no mourning mother. She seemed to have vanished without a trace... Meaning, she was most likely still alive. Even after a police officer shot her in her head.

Finally, I had discovered something very blurry in my memories: the night after Will got freed. We had eaten and then fell asleep in the restaurant, to get awaken by a cashier and shooed out.
But the strange thing was; I remembered falling asleep as somebody else entered the restaurant. But even though I was adamant I had seen and known that person, I couldn't remember any details about them.

And three days before, I had seen a young man on the subway and it hit me - I knew him!
He had had dark brown curls, falling down to his shoulder blades in a long ponytail. That man had held headphones in his hands and had seemed tired, warm golden eyes staring into nothing.

Out of a reflex, I had approached that man, and of course immediately stumbled all over myself as I greeted that man: "Hey, you. This might be weird, but I'm one hundred percent sure we know us."
The unknown - or very well known - man had rolled his eyes in annoyance and put on his headphones, entering the next subway.

But for one second, I had seen something in his eyes - guilt? Sympathy? Maybe I was crazy and started to have hallucinations, but I was adamant that I knew that man.
While I had talked to him, I had also recognized a strange smell... numbing, but also sharp, pure misery.

The mermaid pawn I held was something the headphone guy had dropped on the way in the subway. It was a typical motive, kind of the movie version of sirens. Not the bird women they technically were; but the way too beautiful mermaids pulling sailors into the sea.

I didn't know how or where I had that information from, but I remembered the name of the pawn: it was a seductress. From a board game someone explained to me months ago; someone I couldn't remember.

But suddenly, I got distracted by William letting himself fall over me. "I'm finished!", he announced while I groaned, trying to get my normal breath back. "Gods, you're heavy!", I complained and he laughed, rolling himself next to me.

"I'm finished", Will repeated, looking at me expectantly. Oh, right. I had promised him something.
And I surely wouldn't go back on that promise. Not when he looked at me like that, with those big, light blue eyes and the golden blonde curls, falling into his face just right. He was more pale than usual; his sun tan lighter and his freckles vanished.

But still, he was the most beautiful man I knew. The most precious, genuine, selfless, strong person I could ever imagine. Softly I kissed him, cherished the feeling of his body against mine.

I had to be careful. Since his abduction, the wrong motions could trigger him, send him into flashbacks. And if there was one thing I wanted to avoid, it was hurting my boyfriend. "Tell me if it gets too much", I whispered into his ear and then kissed a line down to his shoulder. Avoiding the area covered by his pullover, I started to caress his hips and upper thighs.

Will laid his head back and sighed deeply, enjoying my touches without even hesitating to show it.
It didn't matter now whether I had forgot something, because my boyfriend was more important. That he got back on track, that he'd find his old happiness and worked through the new traumas of his; that was what mattered.

When he was stable again, then I could worry about that stranger on the subway, that mermaid pawn, about Celine possibly being still alive. And that last thing - could I even dare to let him alone with her still on this world?

No, I couldn't. What mattered was him, and only him. Because we were a couple and we would fight together until the end; whatever that meant.

~~~

(Sniff sniff) The last chapter! The story is over... Or is it? I will update one last chapter, not Story - wise, but I want to blabber a little as the author, so... If you want to accompany me with that, feel free!

Thank you for everyone who read my story from beginning to end. Thank you for voting, for writing comments, for being so dam(n) supportive and; stay tuned for more of my stories!

~ Sunflower