100 reasons to love our lives

Just the author talking

Sunflower

Why, hello there! You've come to the end of this story, I'm proud of you (and of myself because you seemed to like that story, but nobody likes braggers, so I'm gonna stay silent about that ;D).

As my family and friends (except the ones I can't spoil because they read my stories) are already sick of my endless talking about my stories. But still, I want to write a little, so here goes! First up:

Celine Mordare

One of my biggest worries writing this story was that character. Stories just don't live without a good villain, and the fact that she uses Will's helpfulness to catch him in her web of abuse might have turned some people off. I had wondered if I could strike the same effect without her threatening to kill herself, but then decided against it.

Not all suicidal people are monsters, I want everyone to know that! But, people don't have to be suicidal to use cuts and goodbye messages as guilt tripping methods, to achieve what they want to achieve. That is called emotional abuse, and it happens in real life a lot of times. It happened to me, it happens to others, and therefore I decided to include it in my book.

My solution was to make her as unlikeable as possible in the same turn. It kind of sucks that people think being suicidal is a whole character, but it isn't. You can be mentally ill and nice and mentally ill and insufferable.
And: my villain IS NOT suicidal! All Celine needed was a hangup for Will to be forced to stay, so that she could make sure he wouldn't run away if he'd see through her game. She is a pessimistic, crazy, sociopathic bitch who goes through the motions of friendship without actually bonding with her folks.

A lot of my energy writing her came from my own experience with my own toxic close friend. You could see a lot of the things she did metaphorically: her statues as the trophies of people she sucked the happiness and will to live out of, petrifying Will as captivating her victim against his will but with his knowledge. The fact that he killed her (broke off contact) and she just reinserted herself without problems. That others had to forcefully take him away from her, that he couldn't do it on his own.

But, you guys hated her, and that was the overall goal, so I think my coping mechanism did at least some good! :D

Simon Smirnow

The main problem Neeks has with Simon is that Simon doesn't open up about his problems. Again, that was kind of a thing I learned too: For other people to be able to help you, you have to actually show them something is wrong. In the end, as he revealed the half-monster orphanage, Nico and Will immediately offer their help; but he still refuses and that's okay too.

You'll get to know him better in the sequel, if I write one. I always tried to write him as very close to Nico, making Domenico's comment about Simon 'fawning over him' reasonable, but still useless. That kind of speaks for my own experience (again) with my gay best friend. We are super close to each other, but others have mistaken us for a couple already; others that know full well he (=Nico) has a boyfriend and his happy with him.

It's frustrating. Another fear I worked into Simon's character: his voice. Could you imagine having a voice that's addicting for others? That makes them overstep your boundaries, makes them except you have to fix all their problems for them? In the end, he gets beaten up and almost raped in the night of Halloween, and as soon as Nico hears his voice, Simon steps back and ends the friendship out of fear what his wicked gift will bring him next.

Creepy, isn't it?

Why did I include smut?

Simple answer: because so many people get it so wrong! I just wanted to write something beautiful AND consentual, something realistic yet maybe somehow appealing? Also, I wanted to get better at smut scenes. Really thank you, thank you, thank you, best friend of all times, for helping me with the anatomy! I love you platonically!

Relationship being healthy

I have a personal guilty pleasure for toxic relationships in media, but not because I like them: because I collect the red flags and emit them from my writing. Again, I wanted to make this relationship the best kind of realistic; equal, beautiful, maybe a little too romantic, but who cares? Writing them together was kind of a safe space for me. 

~~~

So, what does reading through my blabber bring you? Well, you'll be a big help in choosing the next story I'll write! It'll go democratic here and you can leave a comment on the story you'll like to hear. I have three options for you all:

First: the sequel to this story
That's kinda self-explanatory. You'll get more information about Simon, the half monsters, and you'll get more smut and the relationship as it is now!

Second: The three days of the infirmary
It's a billion times out here on wattpad, but I am very interested in writing the beginning of that relationship!

Third: A twilight/Solangelo Alternate Universe story
Bella's and Edward's relationship is problematic, but, if I insert Solangelo in that universe and keep the story and the rest of the characters as it is... I think it'd be fun to rewrite Twilight in a healthy and gay way!

So, dear readers... You choose! I'll wait a little, and when I have seen your decisions, I'll create the cover, the storyline and then we'll see us again!

Big, biiig thank you to the people who've read my story! Thank you to:
KQKDOWO01LK2BR, my first follower,
HomeMadeMash289, Cat and Coco, who are probably the most motivated readers of mine,
Justus3007, who has commented faithfully on every chapter since they picked up on reading,
And finally, RJmeh13, who has written an awesome story by themselves!

I love you all!

For one last time,

~ Sunflower