𝙰 𝚆𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝙱𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙻𝚎𝚏𝚝 𝚄𝚗𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍 - 𝚇𝚒𝚊𝚘 𝚡 𝙵𝚎𝚖!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝙻𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙵𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 ~ 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟸𝟽

I blink and look away immediately. He does something that catches me off guard. Childe takes one hand and adjusts my chin towards him and leans in. I instantaneously turn away, and thankfully, just in time. His breath is hot against my cheek, his soft laugh, incredibly audible. So is his whisper when he speaks finally. "How unfortunate but I guess I know better now. After all, I already have everything I needed from you Y/n."

He gets up and so do I. "Um- have a - great night Childe-" and turn away before he can say anything. I practically run to the teleportation point, then back to the Inn. Part of me wants to scream while the other yearns to smile. Just like a lovestruck little girl.

I clumsily swing my door open, shutting it much louder than I had anticipated. I turn around to find Xiao sitting at the foot of my bed as the recognizable flustered sensation returns, tingling my body, head to toe. "Xiao..?" I say weakly. "Is everything fine?"

He's still quiet when I approach him but speaks finally. "I saw you...and him-...kiss tonight.."

What-?

I prepare to explain when he says, in the most broken tone I've ever heard, "Do you..love him...Y/n?"

"Xiao, what on Earth are you talking about-" When I say that, he appears to snap completely. The back of my head aches as it hits the suite's wall. Xiao's head is faced down, avoiding my contact, while his hands are on either side of my head. Immediately, I notice the practically silent hiccuping from him, from crying. We stand in silence only ended as Xiao takes his hands placing them on either side of my forearms. He whispers miserably, nearly making me want to start crying. "P-please don't leave me like all of them- please Y/n-" he pauses, inhaling. "Y/n, I love you- more than anything..."

My mouth gapes and I lose all sense of breathing. I can't remember how to form proper words, how to speak, how to do anything. "I-I don't have anything to offer you except my loyalty and adoration. I'll protect you with all that I am a-and ever will be. Just please don't abandon me-"

I'm silent and suddenly realize how he might take that the wrong way. And he does. He laughs a shattered chuckle, hollowed inside and out. "...I'm sorry... I... was a fool to think you'd love me.. even worse than Veiga." He releases his arms from my sides slowly, backing away. "I'm a monster, how could you possibly. I've slaughtered endlessly and mercilessly. I'm practically a living sin." I reach out to Xiao, wanting to say something; wanting to say he's wrong. "Considering you can heal people Y/n-.. it's ironic how you've just wounded me deeper and more painfully than anyone before."

I've never felt this- a pit of ice, slowly melting into a stream of tears. A dread, almost regret begins to nauseate me. "X-xiao-" I say but it's too late. The gust of wind hits me, letting me know that he's already left. My knees buckle, giving way, and I collapse with my hands over my mouth. The hot tears seep down my cheeks and an odd lightness around my neck becomes abruptly noticeable. I run my hands around my collarbone finding nothing.

The realization hits me like an earthquake. The sting against my neck, falling down the hill, the odd and secretive whispering. Childe took the Gnosis.

That Fatui scum- I trusted him.

I didn't just lose Xiao today, I also lost my only key home. I feel like an absolute idiot as the sobs rack my body heavily. Everything feels unreal, the world around me is blurring into a reality of misfortunes. I should have known better. I should have listened to Xiao. I should have said "I love you" when I had the chance. I don't know what I'm supposed to do next. What can I even do? I try to muffle the sobs escaping my trembling lips nearly against my own will. Footsteps can be heard outside of my door and they stop right in front of it. It's silent until they knock on my door, lightly.

"Y/n? Are you here?" The door opens a jar, warm light pouring through as Verr Goldet sprints to kneel in front of my shaking form. "I messed up... so h-horribly..." I remark between trembling gasps.

The tears fog my vision but not enough so I'm not able to see her purse her lips as if acknowledging that trying to comfort through words will do next to nothing. Suddenly, I feel myself in her embrace, telling me that she is here for me. "If it would help Y/n, we could talk about whatever happened, it doesn't have to be now, but I'll try to help you to the best of my abilities."

I nod and try to scrub away the last remnants of my sobs. "T-thank you." When I look at Ms. Goldet, it occurs to me how similar to a mother she is. Harsh but caring, serious but humorous at times. She gently lifts me by my arms and assists me in taking a seat by the foot of my bed. "Take a few deep breaths Y/n." My first inhaled breaths come in and out shakily but slowly gain a consistent pace. "Now, just start from the beginning and how this all came to be."

I begin to explain everything; the Gnosis, the date, and my feelings.

By the end, she appears deep in thought but not at all shocked. "Xiao can be highly impatient and much too quick to judge. It all came to you as a shock, so don't be that harsh on yourself. If you would like, I can have a discussion with Xiao?"

"I don't want to drag you into all of this, but I would greatly appreciate that." I hurriedly add. "Although, could you possibly not say that I have feelings for him?"

She raises her eyebrows, questioningly.

"I kind of want to be the one to tell him..." I say sheepishly making her smile. "I understand completely and wish you luck with that."

"Thank you." She nods in acknowledgment and leaves me in my suite room. All I can do is sleep now, waiting for the next day, waiting for what comes next.