Haikyuu//: They Broke Me

No One Was There

Atsumu's POV

I ran back home as fast as I could and went straight into my room; slamming my door behind me. I could feel the tightening in my chest and my eyes getting blurry.

My back was against the door when my knees gave out, that's when I realised I was crying. Seeing Akagi's face made me remember everything I tried so hard to escape from all these years.

Everything came flooding back into me; all the pain, the suffering, the bitterness, the self-loathing, EVERYTHING THAT I HATED came crashing in me!

Atsumu: "Why... JUST WHY!?" I hugged my knees. "Just... Why now...?" I cried. But after a few minutes, I heard a knock on my door.

Sakusa: "Atsu..." I kept quiet. "Can we please talk?"

Atsumu: "...."

Sakusa: "Atsu, I'll be right here whenever you're ready." He sighed when he realised I wasn't going to answer him. "Atsu, I'll wait for you." A few minutes passed before I heard footsteps getting farther and another door opening and closing; guess he went back to his room now. .

I got up and flopped onto my bed and the moment my head hit the pillows I instantly fell asleep.

I opened my eyes and I was surrounded in darkness.

Atsumu: "Not this again." I hugged my knees. "Wake up, Atsumu!!" I cried.

Why? Don't you like it here?

Atsumu: "No...Please..." I covered my ears.

Did you really think things would change this time around?

I didn't answer and just tightened my hands on my ears.

Just look at yourself.

I felt something lift my head. I was now looking at a mirror and saw myself. My crying, sad, broken self.

Atsumu: "No! That's not me..." I turned my head, not wanting to be reminded. "No- - not anymore..."

DON'T RUN AWAY!

I flinched.

THIS IS WHO YOU ARE!

And again, my head was forced to face the mirror.

NOTHING HAS CHANGED!!!

I cried as I saw myself; all bruised up, ugly, and weak.

They still hate you.

I cried.

You'll forever be alone.

Atsumu: "Please... stop..."

Nobody loves you.

Atsumu: "Please..." My voice was failing me.

They're showing up...one after another... then they'll remind you how worthless, pathetic, and useless you are.

Atsumu: "Am I really a mistake?" I couldn't help but hate myself so much.

Yes. Why were you even born?

Nobody wants you.

No one wants to be with you.

No one likes you.

You were never loved.

You aren't being loved.

And you will never be loved.

Atsumu: "Yo- - You...re... wro- - wrong..." I squeeked. My throat was hurting so much from crying.

Did you really think that Sakusa cares for you? Did you already forget what happened? That was the day you almost- -

Atsumu: "SHUT UP!" I screamed; shutting my eyes and covering my ears.

NO! YOU, SHUT UP! DID YOU REALLY THINK HE'LL LOVE YOU BACK!? HE USED YOU 2 YEARS AGO! HE PLAYED YOU! AND WHEN HE WAS DONE AND GOT TIRED OF YOU, HE ABANDONED YOU WHEN YOU NEEDED HIM THE MOST! HE SAID SO HIMSELF IN THAT TEXT, don't you remember...~

Atsumu: "No.... please, sto- - stop..."

YOU'RE SO ANNOYING. YOU WERE NOTHING BUT A BOTHER TO HIM AND HIS TEAM.

It was getting harder to breathe. Why is this happening again!? I just wanted to be happy! Is it too much to ask!?

Atsumu: "He...lp..." I laid there in the dark.

You can't dismiss me anymore...

Atsumu: "No..." I cried.

Every pain I felt in my life came flooding in. The times I was pushed, punched, kicked, chocked, slapped, hit, whipped, scratched; the times where plates, shoes, and anything hard that was thrown at me; at my head, the times I had a fever had had to push through the abuse and go on with my day for lesser beating, the times I was starved, the times I slept out in the cold, ALL OF IT! EVERYTHING CAME CRASHING IN! I could feel all those pain again!!

Atsumu: "When will this stop...." I felt like dying.

You can't, you have to suffer for being born...

My head felt like it was spilling in half. My limbs were being pulled out of their sockets while being on fire. My stomach felt like it was being dug by something sharp. My ears were ringing like my eardrums are about to explode. My neck felt like it was being strangled by a rope. My chest felt like it was being crushed by something heavy. All my bones were being smashed by a baseball bat.

Atsumu: "I- -I can..'t bre...athe..." My body was on fire, yet I felt so cold. "Please... a- - any...one... he- -help..." I pleaded to anyone.

I just cried and cried and like always, no one was there to help me. No one was there to stop my pain. No one was there.

It's time for you to die and let everyone be happy.

I hope to never see you again, Atsumu.

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tbc