everlasting || dnf

1.9

*georges pov*

i fell down onto my bed, sighing at my own emotions. i tend to let them get the best of me, no matter how hard i try. i think i got that from my mother, but we've never had enough conversations for be to be able to tell. 

do i have any real reason to be upset with him? either way, why is it so difficult to be upset with him. why can't  i figure out how i feel towards him- its so confusing. he makes me so pissed off sometimes and makes me want to leave the literal house, but at other times, he'll make me feel like im the only person in the world. 

is this what having feelings for someone is like? do i have feelings for him? 

i heard wilbur and dreams voice from a few feet from my door, breaking me out of my thoughts. i tried listening to what they were saying but it was to mumbled through the door. though, only a few moments later, dream walked into the room; i was already pretending to be asleep. i heard him sigh from across the room and then make his way to his bed. 

"im sorry." 

i tried to respond, but something in my mind wasn't letting me. only a small hum left my lips, mentally cursing myself. 

it was silent after that, and the air was tense and thick. i hate it, the feeling of the words spoken before hanging in the air, waiting to dissipate- it wont though. 

i tried falling asleep but i couldn't get thoughts of him out of my mind. 

i rolled over in my bed, now facing dream to see him also awake but simply staring at the ceiling, seemingly lost in thought. weather he knew i turned over or was just ignoring me, i couldn't tell. 

"dream?" i asked, my voice only above a whisper. 

"yes?" he said back, turning his entire body to face me. 

"are you okay?" 

"i don't know, are you?"

the room was almost to dark to see him, though a tiny sliver of moonlight shed through the window between us which outlined his features. 

"me neither. im sorry for yelling at you." i confessed, tapping my fingers against my thumb under the blanket. (A/N- DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT?? I DO IT ALL THE TIME AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT- OKAY ANYWAYS.)

"you don't need to apologize-"

"i do, though. you were only trying to help and i know that, i was just in my own head." 

dream simply shrugged it off, though i picked up that that was just his way of accepting apologies. normally, when he didn't think an apology was needed, he'd just shrug it off instead of verbally accepting it. it was one of the first things i learned about him. 

"how are you feeling- i mean after everything with scarlett?" i asked, my tone of voice hesitate and soft in an attempt not to make him upset. 

"um... i think relieved partly, disappointed in myself mostly." he said, running a hand through his hair. he ended up turning back on his back, staring at the ceiling once again.

with the way that the moonlight peaked through the blinds, it highlighted only the side of his face that i could see. his sharp jawline and his green eyes that moved back and forth to different parts of the ceiling. 

"why in yourself?" i asked.

"should've seen it coming, i guess. there were all the signs in the world, and even wilbur and sapnap and fucking everyone told me it was manipulative and toxic and- i just chose not to listen. i set myself up."